Charlie Sheen's "Violent Torpedo of Truth / Defeat Is Not an Option" tour kicked off at the Fox Theatre in Detroit last night… and quickly died a sad, pathetic death. Well, the fate of the tour has yet to be decided, but considering how terribly Sheen was received by the drunk Detroit audience — they booed him off the stage and many walked out early — it's unlikely the Warlock's career as a live stand-up performer will last much longer. After the jump, check out excerpts from the worst non-WINNING reviews and some clips from inside the theater and outside it:
A really shaky video from inside the theater:
Via the Detroit Free Press:
By the time he stepped off the stage a little after 10 p.m., it was an official bomb. ...
Bryan Gill, 53, of West Bloomfield said he was hoping for the best but saw the worst. "It was absolutely disappointing," he said. "Truly, it sucked."
Sheen, visibly worried that he was losing the audience, at times appeared close to becoming abrasive. He never completely fell apart, but at one point, he did tell a heckler, "Sorry dude, already got your money."
Local Fox News:
But despite Sheen’s assurance several times that things were about to get radical, they just got boring. When you pledge to unlock the Vatican assassin inside each and every audience member, you better deliver something.
There’s a certain trainwreck fascination in watching a meltdown in progress, but this anthropological study of the homo loco species wore very thin very fast. And Sheen appears to have known it. As the booing, and the shouts of “Loser” and “You suck” grew more insistent, and the walkouts increased, he said he would take a music break and return when the crowd had woken up.
Via the Los Angeles Times:
But there was no one to fly to his rescue once it was clear that the ex-star of "Two and a Half Men" had no ability as a live performer.
What did anyone expect? Doubtlessly, there were a few looking forward to seeing a mental case unspool. (Before we judge our own moment too harshly, let’s not forget that asylums were once tourist attractions.) My head spun around when someone cried out for Sheen to kill himself onstage. (Probably the same species of nut job that buys a ticket to “Spider-Man: Turn off the Dark” in the hope of seeing an actor break his neck.)
The atmosphere at times approached that of a professional wrestling match. Sheen was torn between offense and defense. He taunted the hecklers that he already had their dough. But then he pleaded for softer treatment, reminding them that they gave their “hard-earned money without knowing what this show was all about.”
The funniest line all night came from someone seated behind me who hollered at the top of his lungs that the show had scared him straight. From now on, he promised, he would just say “no!” Clearly, for him, Sheen’s act was a “this is your brain on drugs” object lesson. It’s a pity Sheen’s commentary wasn’t as witty. Improvisation, alas, is not one of the warlock’s gifts.
Via USA Today:
...he tried to take questions from the audience. Nothing worked. When someone asked about AA, he didn't answer. When someone asked about adult entertainment stars, he didn't come up with anything interesting. Finally a woman said she wanted a hug. She got that. But Sheen probably needed it as much as she did at that point.
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