Chris Illuminati
About Chris Illuminati... Here is more than you'll ever really want to know about me -- These are the books I've written, these are the places I've done or will do stand-up, these are the articles I've written, this is the blog I do about my inadequacies as a father and this is how you can get in touch with me.
real life

Why You Should Worry Because You’re Going To Get Fired — Eventually

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Yesterday, my esteemed colleague David Covucci wrote an inspired missive about the current culture of the American workforce in relation to the trepidation of management to dismiss staff constantly underperforming on the job.

studies

New Study Shows You’re Wasting Time At The Gym — Red Wine Is Just As Good As Exercise

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Usually, people bust their balls at the gym just to enjoy the stuff that’s bad for them like booze, fatty food and anything coated in high fructose corn syrup without feeling bad about it.

Workout

Chef Gordon Ramsay Has Bigger Guns Than You — You Mad Bro?

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Is it possible that a famous chef has bigger biceps than the average bro.

wtf

Now THAT’S A Punchline! Comic Knocks Out Open Mic Emcee With Sick Sucker Punch

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I'll bet this comedian doesn't have one funny joke but he sure as hell will be famous after this video goes viral.

wtf

This Photo Proves CNN Thinks All Fat Celebrities Look The Same

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Kirstie Alley has struggled with her weight for years.

rat s big day

Rat Looking To Get Home During Blizzard Chooses This Dude’s Hoodie As A Ride

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Everyone took cover yesterday before the giant storm that wasn't.

super bowl

How To Appear To Give A Crap About Sports When You Really Don’t Give A Crap About Sports

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With the Super Bowl just days away it's easy to tell who's genuinely excited about the game and who doesn't give a hot shit.


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