I'm not going to waste everyone's precious time by unleashing all of the reasons why Amp's new iPhone app -- "AMP UP Before You Score," which offers to help guys get lucky with 24 different types of women -- is so bad for "society," as most have complained since the app launched a week ago (Pepsi, AMP's maker, has since apologized). The truth is that this app is even worse for your "game."

A girl sees this on your iPhone and you're a goner, believe me. There is a feminist in all of us, largely due to our mothers. No self-respecting woman will ever tolerate this. Just watch the app's demo here:  Keep Reading »

Leave it to T-Pain to come up with the best new iPhone App we've seen in weeks: the I Am T-Pain Auto-Tune iPhone App. It seems to have the endorsement of every hip hop artist in America (except for Jay-Z), so how bad can it be? According to his website, "you can sing along to T-Pain's hits or create your own. You can record and share your genius with the world." A few more demo videos are after the jump.  Keep Reading »

It's not as if we needed further evidence that we live in a nation spilling over with dickheads and fucktards, but a brand new iPhone application has just came on the scene to reiterate that very point. According to the Telegraph in London, the Passion iPhone application has finally arrived. The goal of said application, you ask? Well that's simple; it is designed to successfully gauge the quality of sex that you are having. This is a huge sigh of relief, because the days of girls taking the Lord's name in vain and screaming "Fuck my pussy; I'm cumming!!!" have really been leaving me wondering if the quality of the sex was good.

The basic premise behind this ingenious application is to rate different areas of sexual intercourse based on noise made, the amount the phone shakes, and time spent fucking. These areas are defined in the application as orgasm, activity, and duration. I understand the logic behind duration and orgasm, but "activity?" What does that even mean? Are they expecting us to skip rope or knit a goddamn quilt while we are having sex?

According to the article, "Users simply start the programme, strap the phone to their arm or belt, and press 'stop' when lovemaking is over." O.K., so let me get this straight; I am fully naked and wearing a belt? Perhaps I'll wear a tool belt and wrap the broad over the head two or three times with a hammer while I'm at it. That ought to score me some "activity" points.

Whatever stooge invented this application severely missed the boat on a number of things. You simply cannot rate sex -- naughty, disgusting, felonious sex -- on these three criterions alone. Below are a few questions I have for the application's creator prior to strapping the iPhone (that I don't own) onto my arm or tool belt while I have sex (as absurd as that sounds).

1. If a girl is on her period and I fuck her anyway, does yanking out the tampon qualify as an "activity"?

2. Is "activity" gauged on the more the better? For example: if I'm eating a bologna sandwich, smoking a menthol, and munching on some rank broad's box all at the same time, is that better then just hitting deep and stimulating the clit?

3. What happens if my girl isn't a screamer/moaner? Will I have to make up for this by pinching her nipples violently in order to deliver a higher score?  Keep Reading »

Well this was inevitable. The iPhone app store is selling its first porn app: it's called "Hottest Girls" and includes "2200+ images includ[ing]:
- Topless/Completely Naked Pics
- Beautiful Girls in Lingerie
- Sexy Asian Girls
- Hot Girls in Bikins
- Auto Show Ladies with Short Skirts
- Young Racing Queens
- Girls in Costume
- Babes with Barely Any Clothes
- Cute Teenagers
- and much more!"

What took so long?  Keep Reading »

Here's one way to have your legs -- and your iPhone -- broken all in one night. Casinos in Las Vegas are on the lookout for Blackjack gamers who may be using iPhone apps that help count cards. It's not illegal to count cards, but in Vegas it's a felony to do so with the aid of a machine or other device. We're not entirely sure how anyone could get away with sitting at a Blackjack table pounding away at an iPhone or iTouch, even if the screen is on "stealth mode." We suggest keeping it in your room or pocket or else you're going to end up in just as many pieces as your phone.