You think American athletes lack sportsmanship? You think Derek Fisher's or Kobe Bryant's flying elbows Wednesday night were over the line? You've obviously never met Chivas defender Hector Reynoso, who last week -- in the midst of the swine flu paranoia -- was suspended indefinitely for coughing in an opponent's face and blowing snot at him during a game in Mexico City. While I applaud anyone trying to get a competitive advantage, spitting in someone's face may be a little too much, especially at the height of swine flu hysteria. But is it the most egregious act of poor sportsmanship? Here are 10 other incidents that may be just as bad.

10. Ray Allen hits Anderson Varrejo in the family jewels (April 2009)



There are countless examples of athletes hitting others in their not-so-sweet spot, but few who have committed this crime share the sterling reputation of Ray Allen. Prior to this event, the most controversy Ray Ray has come across is the three-way he had as part of his recruiting trip to Big State in "He Got Game." The most amazing thing about this event is that Varrejo, who typically flops at the slightest bit of contact, hardly even flinches.

9. Rosie Ruiz cheats in the Boston Marathon (April 1980)



Nobody said running 26.2 miles was easy. But during the 1980 Boston Marathon, Ruiz made it look effortless as she crossed the finish line in the third-fastest time ever recorded for a female runner (two hours, 31 minutes, 56 seconds). It was later discovered why she did so well. She didn't run the whole marathon. Instead, she jumped in at the last half mile and sprinted to victory.  Keep Reading »

Lil Wayne claims to be and probably is the best rapper alive. He's not particularly deep, his beats are crap, and except for the occasional Katrina track he doesn't have very much to say, but his grasp of the English language, and his ability to bend it to his will (you try rhyming "problem," "goblin," and "Dennis Rodman" in five seconds or less) is so far beyond anyone else in the game. He's like rap's Bob Dylan, or Noah Webster with rhythm.

What he really wants to do, though, is be a rock star. Hence, Lil Wayne's new album, "Rebirth," in which Weezy sings through an auto-tune, plays guitar like a frat guy who just beat "Guitar Hero" on medium, and, if the first single is any indication, sings lamely about the same things he used to rap awesomely about (women and Lil Wayne.) According to reports, Fall Out Boy, Lenny Kravitz, and Avril Lavigne all contribute to the album, indicating that "Rebirth" might just be the best Screamo album of 2002.

Lil Wayne is falling short to an unfortunate disease peculiar only to those who achieve the absolute epitome of success: Pitchers Wanna Be Hitters Syndrome. Don't confuse this with the Rock Star King Lear Flameout, which is when a successful person falls victim to his own hubris, precipitating a massive fall from grace. (See: MC Hammer, Pete Rose, Robert Downey Jr. pre-rehab.) When a Pitcher wants to be a Hitter, a successful person leaves behind everything that they were good at and tries to become everything they are not. The result is almost always a career hiccup, which everyone forgets the moment the person comes to their senses and returns to their original state. Here's a list of 10 other famous instances in which the natural order was briefly turned on its head.


10. Kevin Bacon: Actor wants to be a Musician
Admittedly, you could put practically half of Hollywood here: Keanu Reeves, Billy Bob Thornton, Scarlett Johansson, Lindsay Lohan, even Johnny Depp. The twist with Bacon is that you expect this kind of self-aggrandizing from megastars like Bruce Willis or Russell Crowe, multi-millionaires surrounded by yes-men who think their shit smells like roses and their voice sounds like heaven. But Bacon is an average guy, a character actor, the Hollywood version of blue collar; he's the movies' everyman, capable of being good or bad in every kind of movie. So his musical side project adds a weird running surrealist undertone to his career. The fact that he works with a less-talented sibling makes it sound like an "Entourage" episode; the fact that they just call themselves "The Bacon Brothers" indicates either a touch of self-awareness, or a huge amount of madness.
Result: An RBI. The Bacon Brothers don't sound any worse than any other bar band, and in this video, Kevin Bacon plays Bongos.  Keep Reading »

While pumping iron last night at my local New York Sports Club -- between the bouts of gawking at cute little vixens, thinking about things I'd rather be doing (coitus with said vixens) and actually working out -- something dawned on me. Every single gym I have ever been too is exactly the same. Sure the facilities and machinery may differ, but the patrons are all eerily similar.

Even though I am a personal trainer (non-practicing), I still only go to the gym because I am programmed too, not because I love doing it. While I'm there, all I want is solitude, a freshly Windex'd mirror, my music and whatever malice-filled thoughts I need to get through it. Unfortunately for me, other people exist, so this heavenly scenario is impossible. Below is a list of some of the people that I sadly keep finding at every gym I have ever gone too.

(Side Note: This does not apply to anyone who works out in a home gym, unless of course, you suffer from severe schizophrenia.)

1. The Playa: This guy usually is in pretty good shape, although you rarely see him doing any actual exercises. Instead he spends the majority of his time trying to hit on females by way of correcting their form or asking if he can "work in." If it were socially acceptable, this guy would walk around sporting an all-out boner with a 25 lb. plate hanging from it.  Keep Reading »