Editor's Note: Yesterday, we served up a great interview with the author of The Philadelphia Lawyer, whose first book, "Happy Hour is for Amateurs: Work Sucks. Life Doesn't Have to" is now out in paperback. As promised, The Philadelphia Lawyer also wrote up an exclusive article just for BroBible.com. Without further ado...

Not getting laid? I understand. We've all been there and it's tough. We blame the scene, the bar, the women, the whole goddamned mating ritual. And yet the answer's never to be found -- cruelly, terminally elusive. Well, I'm here to offer you hope, keep you from the jaws of despair, because the problem couldn't be simpler. It's you. Yeah, that's right. You. You're not getting laid because you're:

1. The Big Shirt Guy
You wouldn't chase a chick in Mom Jeans, would you? The "big shirt" is their male equivalent. And don't think it's hiding anything. She knows you're cut like pudding. Why else would anyone be wearing that collared muumuu?
Quick fix: Drop the Three Milky Way Lunch.
Long term fix: Trade the pitchers of Bud for liquor (Pushing 30? It's overdue).
Cheater's fix: "Plus Model" bra and girdle combo -- $24.99 at Target.  Keep Reading »