Here's a breakdown of the bookends of this weekend's games and how they'll help you open up a can on your fantasy opponent.

Thursday, 8:20 p.m.: Miami at Carolina (NFL Network)

RBs: Miami's Wildcat chance at a Wild Card will certainly be affected by the loss of Ronnie Brown. Even though Ricky Williams is getting old in NFL years and has only had one touchdown in the last three games, he has never had more yards per catch and could get a lot of chances against Carolina's leaky defense. DeAngelo Williams will continue to kick ass.

QBs: With Brown out, more pressure will fall on Chad Henne's head as well if the Dolphins try to use Henne's arm to make up for the lack of Ronnie's legs. Jake Delhomme had two touchdowns last week against the Falcons and could expose Miami to a good fisting.  Keep Reading »

Editor's Note: I totally dropped the ball and should have posted this yesterday. Also, should have included "The League" in last night's TV lineup. Won't happen again.



Last Thursday's premiere of "The League," FX's new fantasy football sitcom, has finally shown the game, no, the gauntlet of fantasy football for what it truly is: the end-all, be-all of a bro's existence.  Keep Reading »

Some great games this week, including the one that everyone's making out to be straight out of Revelations. Here's how they'll affect your starting lineups.

Vikings at Packers

The game these two teams played four weeks ago is likely to be more exciting than most playoff games this or any other year. With similar implications but a change in venue this weekend, expect every Packer fan and their Cheesehead-wearing brother to be after Brett Favre as he returns to Lambeau Field. Green Bay's defense will be gunning for him so expect Adrian Peterson to do huge numbers as usual. I wouldn't count out Aaron Rodgers against the Vikings' stellar pass defense, the Green Bay QB had one of his best games against the Vikings in Week 4, and has had an impressive arm all season long.  Keep Reading »

Everybody knows to start Tom Brady against the Titans. The New England snow-blow out of Tennessee last week was easily predictable. Brady was bound to explode against a crippled and emotionless Titans defense and it seems all he needed was a little winter magic. Week 7 is full of even match ups sure to provide an upset or two, so I thought this week I'd go under the radar and focus on the sleepers. These players may have not put up Peyton (or Brees or Brady) points this year but slowly and steadily they are becoming promising starters and leading their respective teams to winning records.

Matt Cassel, Chiefs

Cassel hasn't had the best record with the Chiefs this season but he hasn't totally sucked balls either. With only two interceptions and seven TDs, Cassel is the only football player in Kansas City who shows up on Sundays. Look for him to target Dwayne Bowe all day against the Chargers. KC is coming off two good games (Week 5 OT loss to the Cowboys, Week 6 win over Redskins) in which they played very well, while SD is still reeling from Monday's loss to the unbeaten Broncos. With a talented but aging team, the Bolts might get skinned.  Keep Reading »

First of all, here's what Favre's game-winning touchdown against the 49ers would have looked like on Tecmo Bowl. Now that we've got that out of the way, here's our list of The Biggest Losers: NFL Edition.

Me:
The first loser is me for calling it all wrong on the Broncos this year. Josh McDaniels basically pulled down his pants and asked Belichick to kiss his ass, rubbing in a heartbreaking 20-17 win over the Patriots. The Broncos have legitimate talent and are on a hot streak (must be those throwbacks). Kyle Orton, Knowshon Moreno, and Brandon Marshall are all good starters this Monday night against the Chargers.

Derek Anderson:
Nobody on the Browns is worth owning. The poor schmuck I played last week must have had a death wish starting Anderson who earned him a whopping -88 fantasy points in the Browns' yawn-fest of a field goal shootout with the Bills. Anderson was 2 for 17. He should just go punch himself in the face.  Keep Reading »

As we head into Week 5 of NFL football things start to become a little clearer. Brett Favre can still win a game on a final drive. Ochocino's Lambeau Leap was bought and paid for, even though it was still pretty awesome. And obvious playoff teams have fully emerged, previous champions find themselves at the bottom of their respective divisions, and some weak teams have materialized wins out of thin air, tricking owners with fantasy magic into investing in bad players. Some shake ups in the wide receiver category might seem appealing and some winning teams might be winning games now, but I urge fantasy owners to look before they leap.

The Braylon Edwards Effect:
The most talented player on the Browns now plays for the Jets, leaving Cleveland a football wasteland. Fans just better hope LeBron sticks around or they'll have nothing to live for. While Edwards won't gain too many fantasy points himself by changing jerseys, he'll certainly help the Jets (and fantasy owners of Mean Green's players) in more ways than one. Their already sick running game with Thomas Jones, Leon Washington (FSU what!), and rookie Shonn Green will get even better when Edwards draws defensemen away from the backfield. Edwards also adds another target to the Jets' already impressive list of wide outs for Mark "Dirty" Sanchez to look for. He'll also draw defenders away from Jerricho Cotchery, opening up more passes for him. Edwards had a breakout season in 2007 but has been quiet ever since and while he may not be a good fantasy starter (drops balls left and right) he'll make every other player on the Jets look good.  Keep Reading »

Week 4 brings our first byes and with some key player injuries in Week 3, the waiver wire should provide some piece of mind.

You should pick up:

Kevin Walter (WR, Texans)
The number two guy in Houston, Kevin Walter could be a good wide out to fill a W/R spot if your go-to starter is on bye this week. After missing the first two games of the year with a hamstring injury, Walter had seven catches for an impressive 96 receiving yards and one touchdown in the Texans' loss to the Jaguars. Look to Walter this week when Houston hosts the Raiders.

Glen Coffee (RB, 49ers)
After Frank Gore's two 80-yard runs in Week 2 he fell early in the game against Minnesota with an ankle injury. Coffee should pick up his slack and more. He got 25 carries against Minnesota's tough run defense for 54 yards. He'll explode all over St. Louis.  Keep Reading »

What happens after a team loses a big game? They either continue to suck or pick up the pieces and come out hungrier than ever. Week 2 saw big losses by big teams and we've got the skinny on who'll return to former glory, who'll see even more losses in the future, and, most importantly, how it affects your fantasy team.

The Packers fell to the Bengals.
The Packers are at St. Louis and after getting beat by two mediocre teams in Weeks 1 and 2, St. Louis' first win isn't likely to come against Green Bay. Look for Green Bay's defense to allow under 10 points by Marc Bulger and Stephen Jackson and expect A-Rod to air it out all over the Rams' porous shell of a secondary.

The Super Bowl Champion Steelers lost to Jay Cutler and the Bears.
Matt Forte owners are still looking for him to explode and after what Frank Gore did to Seattle's run defense this could be his game. Cutler temporarily silenced the critics in defeating Pittsburgh but who's to say what would have happened if Polamalu was still in. Still, in two games, Cutler has thrown for over 500 yards and that number will only get bigger against the Seahawks.  Keep Reading »

Editor's Note: Great video above of Carolina's Steve Smith mic-ed up in last week's disaster against the Eagles. At the 2:30 mark, Smith tells QB Jake Delhomme what he really thinks of him as a QB and a person. [Via Hot Clicks via Sports Crackle Pop]

And what have we learned?

Week 1 brought us the return of the Tom Brady two-minute drill, an OT win for the Super Bowl champs, and a career came for Drew Brees with six TDs. My picks last week were off and on but I chock that up to a few running backs shaking off the cobwebs and just some general new season jitters. Week 1 is an anomaly, completely unpredictable and, as that last second Broncos win showed us, all together ridiculous. Here are a few lessons I've taken from the first weekend of NFL football.

The Steeler's running game needs work.
With strong performances from Santonio Holmes, Heath Miller, and Hines Ward, there wasn't much running room for Fast Willie Parker and Rashard Mendenhall, literally. The Titans stood up to both backs allowing only 25 rushing yards between them. Look for the Bears to give them just as much trouble even without Urlacher.

The Chargers are not as good as everybody thinks.
For the past few years every announcer begins the season by saying that San Diego could very well be in the Super Bowl this year but something always keeps them out. LDT may be past his prime and now that he's splitting time with Sproles, who stole the show last week, he'll get even less touches.  Keep Reading »

Another Fantasy Football season has come upon us and this year I will be bringing my winning expertise to BroBible.com so all you fantasy team bro-wners out there can chose your rosters confidently and, hopefully, at the end of the season walk away with some of your masculinity intact.

Do Start:

QBs: Drew Brees, Phillip Rivers, Joe Flacco, Kurt Warner
The Saints, Chargers, Ravens, and Cardinals are some of the best teams in the league playing some of the worst teams in the league in Week 1. Detroit's first win in who-knows-how-long certainly won't come against the Saints and one of the best arms in the NFL. The Chargers are playing division rival Raiders, an armpit of a franchise. The Ravens, one of the best defenses in the league is playing Kansas City, one of the worst offenses in the league, and without TGon, they're useless. Finally, the conference champion Cardinals are playing the 49ers who suck, too.

RBs: Steve Slaton, Matt Forte, Julius Jones, Ray Rice
The Texans have a chance of winning their division this year and Steve Slaton is going to be a huge factor. With the addition of Jay Cutler, the Bears have a lot of offensive weapons. Too bad he doesn't have anybody to throw to. Look to Matt Forte to bring in the TDs. The Seahawks are playing the Rams this week and with Hasselbeck getting older every second, Julius Jones should get a lot of touches. If Ray Rice is taking the starting job away from Willis McGahee, he must be doing something right.  Keep Reading »

Oh yes, my friends, football season is finally here! And its arrival only means one thing to me; money expeditiously leaving my bank account. Yearly, I partake in countless fantasy leagues, knock-out pools and I even piss away hundreds gambling online.

Most years, I shamefully wind up losing more that I care to admit, but this isn't about me being a degenerate gambler, this is about the upcoming fantasy football season. And for me, playing fantasy football is as American to me as shipping jobs overseas, Japanese cars and domestic violence. Sometimes having fantasy players in the game is the only way to stomach an epic battle between Cleveland and Tampa Bay.

Over the course of my fantasy career, I have won my fair share leagues and money, but I am not here to talk strategy or even suggest who you should pick with your first selection. I will let you rely on the egghead-analysts over at ESPN for that shit. Instead, I am here to ensure your league's fantasy draft and season goes off without a hitch.

If you haven't figured it out by now, a lot pisses me off, even if it's the slightest thing. Off the top of my head, three things quickly come to mind, parades of any kind, Bill Walton's face and other peoples' children. But as much as I fucking hate those things, and believe me I do, nothing makes my blood come to a boil quite as much as when things don't run smoothly. And that is why I, with the help of a few close friends, have composed this list of "musts" for every fantasy league draft.

Participants:
1) No bitching allowed. All decisions will be made in a democratic fashion and if someone doesn't like it, they can kindly and quietly go fuck themselves.  Keep Reading »