Tell me if this has happened to you. Back in high school, you hooked up with little slam piece from class: There was some making out, maybe you touched her where she pees, and, if you were lucky, you got a little BJ that you could tell your bros about even though it felt like a rabid squirrel gnawing off the tip of your man stick. Overall, it was an awkward and painful experience leaving you in need of a little ointment and a big hug.

Now fast-forward several years later. You and this same birdie reconnect, have a few drinks and find yourselves right back where you left off back in high school, only this time she's DTF and, unbeknownst to you, trained up like a porn star. You initiate reluctantly, but by the end you're lying there in a pool of sweat, drained of all bodily fluids and realizing you just had the ride of your life and now have to clean an eight-roper out of your ceiling fan.

I bring this up because I just had an identical experience with the world's most notorious tequila brand, Jose Cuervo.  Keep Reading »

It's day three of BroBible's tequila crusade in Mexico and so far it's been nothing short of glorious debauchery. A few words to sum it up: shots, strippers, shots, tacos, aspirin, and shots. As I mentioned in my last post, Jose Cuervo invited us down to celebrate the launch of its limited edition 2010 Reserva De La Familia tequila.

Tequila is a spirit that few people really understand so we're about to hit you with some knowledge. When you think of tequila, chances are the first things that come to mind are salt, shot glasses, and limes; in fact it's a complex spirit that can be enjoyed in many different ways. To give you guys the real scoop on tequila, I turned to my good friend and award-winning mixologist and tequila expert, Mark Stoddard, from Bitter Bar in Boulder, Colorado.  Keep Reading »

Whether it's greasy pizza or Gatorade, everyone has their own tried and true hangover cure after an evening of heavy boozing. After all, there's nothing's more of a buzz kill than a monster headache that leaves you crippled on the couch watching re-runs of "Burn Notice" and "Monk" while all your friends are chaying on a beautiful Sunday Funday. However, modern science has finally discovered something more useful than gimmicky "chaser" pills: hangover-free booze.  Keep Reading »

It's the first week of March, meaning college bros around the country have that looming tickle of anticipation in their nut sacks as they finish up midterms and quickly approach the time of year where dreams come true, inhibitions are an after thought, and dignities are shattered. The time of year that all younger bros dream about and older bros reminisce about until the day they die. It can be summed up by two words that roll off the tongue like vomit after a Vegas bender: SPRIINNNGG BREEEAAAKK!!!  Keep Reading »

A few situations exist in our lives when we have to do our drinking/drug use on the sly. Getting hammered or slightly tuned-up during class is a perfect example of this stealthy behavior. Is it right or wrong to engage in unscrupulous activities in a classroom? Do I really give a fuck either way? No, I sure don't.

College is a phenomenal time, there's no debating that, but as much as we would love to be getting hammered with our Bros or banging a girl's twat like a drum all day, attending class is sometimes a disgusting reality. If you've ever endured the treachery of a once-a-week, three-hour class, or a full day schedule, then you understand the necessity of classroom drinking. I have done extensive research on this and to gain further insight on how the pros do it, I joined SoberRecovery.com, an Alcoholics Anonymous forum. My joining is probably right on the cusp of being morally wrong and hell worthy, but these (recovering) boozehounds need to pay back society somehow, right?

Thanks to all my research, the BroBible team's suggestions, and what I gleamed off Sober Recovery, I have constructed a list of very plausible techniques (some way more than others) for you to employ the next time you want to be a part of your friends' pre-game or day chay but your fucking class schedule has gotten in the way.  Keep Reading »

I know what you're wondering before you even say it. What's the best way to chug a brew? The brew itself is what defines the bro. While we find comfort in lax, broads, fresh pepperoni 'za, and the occasional recreational drug, the brew stands alone at the center of the bro's heart.

When we first started killing brews in large quantities at around age 15 (maybe 16 if you're a late bloomer), I'm sure we all asked ourselves the same question: What's the fastest way to get through this rack? You may have even asked yourself: Why do we kill so many brews? That's a joke; if you asked yourself that, stop reading and get a buddy to kick you in the nuts. We all kill brews for the camaraderie and so we can have a reason to kick through a mint tin or two packs of butts in a night (not to mention it gives us an excuse when we bang fat chicks or wake up naked in a pool of our own piss three nights in a row.)

Well, needless to say, we all came of age one way or another and figured the ins and outs of killing brews. While everyone may have their own preference in style, I'm about to share with you my own personal brew-killing style power rankings. Get ready to get hurt...  Keep Reading »

Speaking of fun ways to drink a beer, here's a handy tool for anyone who hates losing their half-finished beer whenever they put down a can for a second, only for it to get lost in a see of Natty Lights and PBRs. The Beer Pager is a coozie with a base that looks like you could take to Chili's and get yourself the next available table without taking the cute girl behind the hostess stand into the bathroom with you.

Just place your beer in the coozie, set it down, go mingle or play darts or get things started with the blonde in the corner, then just press a little remote. Instantly the Beer Pager will start going nuts and you'll just have to follow the blinking lights and loud noises (belch, golf, casino, and motorcycle-themed) to find your brew. $19.95 each.

Spotted this news item on page 7 of a daily subway rag on the way into the office today:

"The city of Milan, in northern Italy, has for the first time enacted strict legislation on underage consumption of alcohol, revealing that as many as one-third of local 11-year-olds have drinking problems. Despite the threat of heavy fines, however, many bar owners are refusing to abide by the unlikely restriction, refusing to act as 'alcohol police,' the BBC reports.

The crackdown has come as quite a shock to native Italians, to whom underage drinking is not even so much as a concept. Indeed, Italian children were historically nurtured on a steady diet of wine, as opposed to water, which was more likely to be polluted."

Why is that so bad for Americans?  Keep Reading »

Behind curtain #1: More drinking games beer coasters! Last week we showed you SUCK UK's version of the ultimate bachelor pad necessity, and now the guys over at Vat19 are getting in on the fun. For just $8, you'll get 20 spots to rest those brews, plus learn twenty times over how to get rid of those brews in a hurry.

Behind curtain #2: Another must-download iPhone app. We've told you about the Blackjack app that Vegas has banned, and the app that helps you find a place to take a piss anywhere in America. Now: the "Bad Decision Blocker." Keep getting into trouble calling or texting old flames late at night when you're eight sheets to the wind? Now you can choose specific contacts to block at any time, and the girl's number will literally disappear from your iPhone. [Via UrbanDaddy]