Editor's Note: It's not every day that one of our female readers posts in the Brommunity -- and a list of tips to turning her on, no less. So we're certifying it.

1. Pick us up and toss us around, show us whose boss
2. Give us a little surprise, blind fold us once in a while
3. Rip our clothes off, be hasty
4. Tease us, if we want to kiss, pull away
5. When were on top, throw us around and flip us over; take control  Keep Reading »

Bros, just picked up this little badass and he needs an equally badass name. Please help.

Editor's Note: This was too good not to certify.

I got women in the 'burbs, Women in the the hood. Yeah my wifey mad 'cause she knows I'm no good. Man I'm just a dog, I'd be faithful if I could, But I'm Tiger Woods. Yeah, I'm Tiger Woods.

I need help 'cause I know I got a problem, Every bad bitch I come across I think I want 'em. Look at how I roll when I see 'em then I'm on 'em, Drunk full of liquor and a pocket full of condoms. Lord I can't lie I'm a dog, I'm a cheater, Babymomma gone 'cause I ain't know how'ta treat her. Shout out to Na'isha, Shout out to Latisha, Shout out to my shorty with that little white Bimmer. Feeling like a king, Got women that'll treat me. I be going hard, Got a dime down in D.C.
Yeah my wifey home And I'm wrong for what I'm doing yo I be out creepin/lying, Said I'm in the studio.  Keep Reading »

There are many great "This is Sportscenter" commercials out there from ESPN but this has to be the best one yet. I would go as far to say this is the greatest ad to ever air on TV. Featuring a very old school bro who introduced a favored non-alcoholic beverage to quench the thirst of bros everywhere.

Dear Bros,

So I was browsing the Buzz a few minutes ago and noted the new United States Marines recruiting video. This got me thinking....

It's really important to keep morale up amongst the troops right now. Speaking as someone who has a friend who just got back from his first tour of Afghanistan I have been told that the holidays are when morale is lowest for our boys in uniform.

That said Xerox is doing something which I think is fantastic. Go to LetsSayThanks.com, and pick out a thank you card, which Xerox will print and send off to a soldier serving overseas.

Consider this the "Atlas Shrugged" for the aspiring freshman Bro. As I sit to write this I can sense my eyes beginning to tear up as I remind myself of all the debauchery I have experienced and bore witness too throughout my four years of college. I am dreadfully approaching my final semester in college, and though I look forward to the days of making money, driving around in whips that I actually own, and crushing more 40+-year-old pussy than I can even begin to comprehend, I feel that it is my duty to make, shall I say, a statement regarding my college years.  Keep Reading »

After I loosened my belt a notch or two after a hearty Thanksgiving dinner, I grabbed a Blue Light, sat on the couch, and caught the end of the Raiders-Cowboys game. It had been a fairly successful holiday, with no serious brawls between relatives or burnt turkeys to speak of. My uncles, cousins, and I even got a few holes in before the bird came out of the oven. Aside from feeling bloated for the entire day, I would put 2009 up there as one of the best Thanksgivings in recent memory (granted, I can't really remember many before my senior year of high school thanks to the unlimited amount of pre-dinner brews and post-dinner Jack on the rocks).

Needless to say, as I found myself barely able to breath and watching the Cowboys blow out the Raiders in a game I could hardly give less of a shit about, I got to thinking. While a part of me worried about the inevitable papers and exams that get thrown at us in between Thanksgiving break and Christmas break, most of my concern was focused on another inevitable truth: the winter weight gain. The combination of cold weather, late night Sheetz runs, and copious amounts of booze, causes chicks to pack on the pounds at an alarming rate.  Keep Reading »

Twisted pleasure, her pleasure, standard... whatever it is, they're all the same: its a condom. (Hate to break it to the people sweating to find the her pleasure pack in the Dwayne Wade protection aisle.) Personally, Ive always preferred the pull-out method. I know people say that condoms do not affect a girls pleasure. I disagree: I can feel the plastic texture and I want the male to feel how wet I can get.  Keep Reading »

There is no disputing it. Crocs are the antithesis of Bro. There are few things out there that get under my skin like Crocs, especially pink ones. Confront a loyal Crocs endorser and they will go on and on about how practical and comfortable they are. You know what else is comfortable? Making out with your girlfriend because you're wearing Crocs and I'm not. Unless you are Mario Batali, there are absolutely no occasions when wearing Crocs is acceptable.

Here are the 5 most ridiculous pairs of Crocs on sale today.



If I ever saw a chick rocking these I would run for the hills. If there ever was a pair of shoes that scream "I don't fuck," these would be them.  Keep Reading »

Editor's Note: Attention College Students -- Got a hilarious or epic story of college debauchery to share? Unleash it in the Brommunity, and if we like it, will Certify it and move it to the Buzz! Here's pillsbury bro boy with just such a story...

Disclaimer: The names of the people involved in this trip have been changed to preserve anonymity, but more importantly to keep the jakes off our trail (because there is a high likelihood that we are wanted in a few states between New York and Tennessee).

It began as an idea. A pipe dream, really. There were too many variables to consider: money, possible jail time, chicks, and more money. In the end, however, we pulled it off. It had become somewhat of a tradition for me and my bros to take a mid-semester break from all the stresses that we face as college students. For the last two years we would leave our small liberal arts schools in the freezing Northeast in search of warmer weather, better looking girls, and the renowned 24-packs of Natty Light (seriously, why cant they just throw an extra six brews in there and call it an even 30?)  Keep Reading »

While University of Michigan football is of course a religion here in Ann Arbor, one Wolverine squad isn't currently taking it up the ass, this of course being the SAE Mudbowl team. For the 76th year, Sigma Alpha Epsilon suited up, rocking the purest purple-on-purple Under Armor, on a Michigan football Saturday to face another house in football in the mud-flooded front lawn of SAE.

The Mud Bowl is the longest-standing and most visible Greek tradition here at Michigan. While labeled a two-hand touch football game of 7 on 7, it's actually a wrestling match between you and the guy across the line from you. The play never ends at the whistle and fans throwing their empty beer cans at the competition is highly encouraged.  Keep Reading »

Here are my top NFL uniforms (old and new). I feel that the best uniforms are those that are simple, original, classic, and have a nice color scheme. These are the unis that stay away from the clip art type logos and ridiculous color combinations. In no particular order:


These are legit.  Keep Reading »

Editor's Note: A ton of you Philly fans have sent us in this track in preparation for tonight's big Pedro-Pettitte showdown. Since Bro reader As the BRO Flies already posted in the Brommunity last week, we're just certifying it. Here's his initial description...

Virtually unknown Philly rapper NeeKo remixed Jay-Z's "Empire State of Mind" in honor of the New York-Philly matchup in the World Series. I'm not trying to say it's better than Hov's version but it reps The City of BROtherly love well. Enjoy, Go Phillies.

On a bus ride home this weekend from a lax tournament, my fellow lax rats and I got to talking. We had a great weekend. The team got so rowdy at a campus bar that they strung up a piata for us and invited the biggest sorority on campus to come get wet on our denim boners. Amidst all of the farting, high-fiving, and recapping of a crazy night out on the town, we stumbled upon something profound:

Someone asked me what my favorite Will Smith movie was. I sat there deep in thought as one of my roommates emphatically shouted, "Independence Day!" Boos started raining in from all over the place. Fuck them. That was a great movie.  Keep Reading »

Click here to read Part 1.

There are only a few topics of conversations that go down in a Lax LockerRoom. If Bros aren't debating who has the quickest left-to-right split, or best low to high, they are talking about who has the best snatch in the sophomore class. Other popular topics include bickering about football teams, who has the biggest sack on the team, and whether you should dip in front of chicks or not.

The majority of Bros say that most chicks are naggers when it comes to dipping. Naggers hate everything about dip and pulling out a tin in their presence has about as much sex appeal to them as bragging about being ill at Quidditch. Naggers are famous for lines like, "Ewwwww, you are so grosssss!!! You really do that?" And every time I reply back, "Your damn right, doggy! Why would I not end every night with a fat lip?"  Keep Reading »