In our effort to help give bros access to shit that matters, BroBible has formed a partnership with leading resume writing company DreamResume.com.

Their pitch is simple -- have someone smart and experienced write your resume. DreamResume writers include Ivy League grads, JDs, MBAs, and PhDs who have experience in numerous industries. No career counselors or freelance resume writing hacks; rather, someone who has experience in the field you're pursuing. Want a job in investment banking? Have a banker write your resume. Want a job in engineering? Have an engineer write your resume.

Like oversized sunglasses on chicks in sundresses, DreamResume can make you look like hot shit. Their writers work with you one-on-one to give you a polished, error-free resume. We've sampled their service and were thoroughly impressed with the end product. DreamResume has helped people land jobs at Apple, Goldman Sachs, Google, and McKinsey & Co.  Keep Reading »

How we doin bros? As mentioned in an earlier post, I'm working as an intern this semester. Today is a special treat for me (sort of), in that my boss is off to New Jersey today for a meeting. So I'm here at the office...  Keep Reading »

Earlier this morning a real-life resume from a living, breathing job-searcher landed in a BroBible inbox. We're not going to disclose the name of this bright whippersnapper, but we'll definitely share his credentials for a summer analyst position at Goldman Sachs. We're not sure if this aspiring financial analyst actually landed his dream job at the prestigious investment firm, but we definitely think he had cajones for sending in a resume and cover letter peppered with so much hubris. Check it out after the jump.  Keep Reading »

Editor's Note: While most of BroBible's readers are still in school or are only few years into post-grad life, there are plenty of older, more veteran bros among our ranks, some of whom have even taken the ultimate plunge: marriage. Married Bro, who runs, naturally, MarriedBros.com is just such a seasoned Bro, so we've asked him to write us a new regular column about life with, in his words, a "Forever Slampiece" (FSP for short). While his advice will ring especially true for those who are hitched, we're guessing any bro in a serious long-term relationship will also find his words especially insightful.

Obviously, you married your FSP because she was smoking hot, gave great head, and she (well, her dad) was rich as shit. Sure he was pissed when you started dating his princess, but that's probably because he understood that dating meant his daughter was getting railroaded so hard your nickname could be John Henry. Soon enough, you steam-engined your way into the family and he realized it meant that he was going to have to live with you forever (or at least until you get a divorce).  Keep Reading »

It's Friday morning, or any morning during the work week for that matter, your alarm goes off. You turn to look at the clock and then you realize that you have to go to fucking work today. Misery sets in and you begin to wish that you had had a fatal aneurysm in your sleep. You've gotten roughly 4 hours of alcohol-induced shut-eye and for all intents and purposes, you are still completely shit-faced from the night before. Just then you have a brilliant idea; you determine that you can be 30 minutes late for work, so you reset your alarm and go back to bed with the hopes of waking up sober. You are an ignorant fuck for even thinking this but ignorance makes you a man, so embrace it.

Thirty minutes later, your alarm goes off and now not only are you still shit faced, but your head is spinning like a fucking merry-go-round and there is a good chance you might blow chunks. You reluctantly drag your ass out of bed and you try to convince yourself that a cold shower will make you feel better. It won't. While in the shower you realize that work is going to be about as pleasant as having a railroad spike hammered into the head of your average-sized cock. You begin to weigh your options.

You consider calling out of work because let's face it, your productivity for the day will rival that of someone who is in a coma with inoperable brain damage. Tragically, however, you remember that you've already used up all your sick days and that doesn't include the three times that you fictitiously killed your grandmother to get out of work this year -- you hate the bitch for forgetting your fourteenth birthday, so we'll let it slide. With no way to get out of work, you finally grasp that unless you find a way to hospitalize yourself, you're stuck. Now what?

Before you get to work:

1. After your shower, bathe yourself in cologne and brush your teeth at least twice. Even though you showered, booze will be seeping from your pores for several hours. If you work for BroBible, skip this step, but if you don't, going into work smelling like a used douchebag and a bottle of tequila usually doesn't sit well with the suits.

2. Take a heavy dose of Advil with about 16 ounces of water before you leave your house. (Note: If this were a Saturday or Sunday, substitute the Advil for Vicodin or Percocet, sleep till 5 p.m., then wake up and recommence revelry. It may be terrible for your liver, but God dammit it feels so good.)  Keep Reading »

College student? Love BroBible.com?(That was rhetorical, of course you do) Need some extra swag? We're looking for campus reps at colleges across the country who want to help us promote BroBible and get the word out about a brand new, top secret, life-altering part of the site that we'll be unveiling next week.

We're looking for current students (yes, ladies, that means you, too) who love all things Bro (chaying, sports, women,etc...), who are well connected on their campus, who are natural-born promoters and talkers, and who need some more beer/bail/plan B CASH in their pockets. Does that sound like you? Drop us a line at brobibleeditor (at) gmail (dot) com, and we'll make things happen.

Dinner at nice steakhouse - $140 Drinks at a bar after dinner - $50 Making the ugliest girl in office cry mid smash - priceless Few words can even begin to describe how brutal this piggly wiggly was...Am I proud?...  Keep Reading »

Each morning, like most of you, I wake up, contemplate suicide, and then reluctantly drag myself to work. To say that I dread going to my job would be a complete understatement. I can honestly declare that I'd rather have someone take a potato peeler to my dick than go to work most mornings. Nothing about my job makes me look forward to being there. Not even the mirror in the men's room can lift my spirits. But what truly makes me loathe my job more than the non-stimulating work, the chair bound to give me a compressed spinal cord, and the shitty coffee in the break room is the people I am forced to encounter each day. Below is a list of these people.

10. Hot Intern: I'll start with you because for obvious reasons, you are the only person in the office that I can tolerate. It's no secret that you were hired for three reasons; your gorgeous face, your perfect areolas, and your dick-sucking prowess. But, it's safe to say that if your face were to get rearranged in a horrific accident, I would hate your fucking guts, too. Now spread 'um.

9. The Creep: The year-after-year winner of the highly coveted "Most Likely to Rape a Co-worker Award." Your uncomfortable stares and cigarette breath are only outshined by your complete lack of hygiene and inch-long nostril hair. How you have not been convicted of a sex crime is truly remarkable. All I can guess is that you must do a hell of a job at hiding the remains of the women you probably hack to pieces in your spare time. And for that I am forced to commend you.

8. The Ass Kisser: It is probably a misnomer to refer to this person simply as an "ass kisser," since this guy or girl would eat the janitor's dick cheese if it meant a promotion. While I'm generally a selfish prick who won't lift a finger if to lend a hand, the Ass Kisser runs around the office like his dick's just caught fire, making small talk about the climate and kissing every ass in a mile-wide radius. If this overly enthusiastic tool is in your office, I bet just like me you'll hope to be present on the day they perish.  Keep Reading »

Executive Broing back in the day via Funny or Die  Keep Reading »

Somebody has a case of the Thursdays.

The making of video is after the jump.  Keep Reading »

At dinner the other night, my father likened head hunters to used cars salesmen and plumbers. When I asked my old career counselor at my alma mater whether I should sign up with a head hunter, she said, "Why should they buy the milk when you could get the cow for free?" Still, to date, despite my network of friends and connections, head hunters have been the most successful at getting me interviews, which raises the question whether these recruiters (who, remember, don't take any money from you) are necessary and if they are necessary, how can a job searcher maximize the chances of finding a job through one? Below are 10 takeaway tips to maximizing the potential relationship with a recruiter:

1. Make a recruiter D-Day: First, Network, Network, Network on your own! I know it is awkward at first, but talk up random friends of friends at the bar or connect with alumni from your school, or go to charity events and professional conferences. If that does not work, make a deadline for when you will start to use a recruiter.

2. Understand what you're up against: The more senior you are, the more helpful a recruiter will be to your job search. With the professional market -- specifically the young professional market -- saturated, recruiters tend to have more listings for senior professionals. Additionally, the more niche your job skills, the more likely that a recruiter might have a position to help you. All that said, don't be intimidated: give it a shot.

3. Research before you select a recruiter: Word of mouth is very important. Verify that recruiters have real openings and not merely stale ones that were filled months ago. Bonus points if the recruiter has exclusive arrangements with certain companies.  Keep Reading »

Dude bros, In continuation of Broshady's "One of those days....," I myself had a most excruciatingly fucked up hangover workday. My plane arrives in Atlanta lastnight around 9:30 pm after four hours next to the...  Keep Reading »