Remember way, way back in the day, before that asshole in elementary school ruined it for everyone, when you thought Santa Claus was real? And you built up the excitement for at least a month until the fateful morning when you sprinted into your living room to see the gifts piled under the tree? (Authors' note: sorry to any non-Christian readers. There isn't a better analogy for this.) When you're young, there are few instances, if any, that rival that experience.

Then there's a point when you realize Santa isn't real, and that sucks for awhile. Those are the dark years. But they end when you come out the other side and realize that, while Christmas never quite feels the same, there is a new day that rivals that initial Christmas feeling. That day, of course, is Halloween.

Why, you ask? Well, there have been countless articles about how Halloween gives even relatively reserved young women the free license to let their inner slut flags fly freely with minimal backlash. That particular phenomenon is well-documented and, frankly, if you can't figure out why that makes Halloween the testosterone-filled New Christmas for any red blooded American male, you should not be on this web site, let alone reading this article. We'd like to go a step further and create a guide for determining just how truly slutty a girl is based on her costume. We know that like Christmas, Halloween goes fast and you have limited hours, so we want you to make smart and informed decisions about who to grace with your wit and wisdom for maximum return on your pussy-hunting investment.

Note that the photos below are mostly actual costumes available at Ricky's and are clearly best-case scenarios. In rank order from least likely to most likely to give it up :

The Old and Ugly
These are the girls who go all out and throw themselves so deeply into the costume for authenticity purposes that they completely cover and/or disfigure themselves. Like the chick who dresses up as a witch and uses a fake wart. Or someone dressed as one of the Golden Girls. Or whatever. At any rate, this is probably fairly obvious -- PASS. Granted, the girl under that make-up might be totally smoking hot, but no female with an acceptable sense of adventure lets the opportunity to dress like a ho without consequences go by.


Royalty
Let me tell you, any girl dressed as royalty on Halloween has an unrequited desire to actually BE royalty. And because she gets to dress like a queen/princess/duchess, she gets to act like one, too, to really live the costume. Which means she'll probably be acting like a spoiled bitch that orders you around. Sounds awesome. PASS.  Keep Reading »

150 Pictures of girls dressed in slutty Halloween Costumes. Enough said. Halloween Girls  Keep Reading »