When the season finale of MTV's "Real World / Road Rules Challenge" begins with guys pouring hot wax on each other and no one gets sent to the hospital, that's not a good sign. It's tough for a season finale in this series to have great excitement, especially after you've been provided with the extraordinary entertainment that we have this season. The finales are mostly activity based and lack the usual debauchery that appears throughout the season. MTV producers did the best they could by making you think the Challengers actually had a chance to win with two girls and what an epic story that would be. Only a fool, however, could think that result would actually happen. Only once (the Easy E passing out during the Gauntlet III) was the end product not completely evident before the show started.  Keep Reading »

As a little change of pace, I decided to switch things up and roll with a running diary of MTV's "Real World Road Rules Challenge" episode as opposed to doing the usual review. Without any idea of what to expect from this episode, I figured I'd bring the unexpected as well. Now only if Kelly Anne could show up at my doorstep right now dressed only in a trenchcoat, that would be really unexpected...

10:02 p.m.: After watching another stupid intro, we finally get back to unfinished business from last episode with Kim and Susie facing off in the Ruins.

10:03: It would've been cooler without the mat and a lot more dirt. Watching the chicks go at it in the mud with the rain coming down would've been pretty awesome.

10:04: Susie's trying to throw Kim around like a rag doll, but give the bitch credit. She's holding on.

10:04: Susie finally gets the job done and eliminates Kim. She's now sitting on approximately $25K. Maybe she can use that money to buy herself a better personality and some sex appeal.  Keep Reading »

If you didn't set your DVR this morning, you better make sure you're in front of a TV tonight for the two-hour season premiere of "Jersey Shore." Critical acclaim has already been reached, with the Sports Guy referring to it as "the greatest reality show that's ever been on any network ever." Make sure you've gotten all your work done, given your booty calls the night off, and stocked your fridge full of beer because this is something you're not going to want to miss.

We've been teased over the years with numerous YouTube clips and email chains providing small insights into the lives of some of this country's finest Italian-American entertainers on the Jersey Shore. Finally MTV has embraced the comedic appeal of these wonderful Guidos and devoted a whole series to it. I speak for everyone when, even a week after Thanksgiving, I say we couldn't be more thankful.

In honor of tonight's premiere, I've scoured the internet and put together a comprehensive guide to Guido Nation. Here's my Top 10 on everything Guido to make sure you're ready to pump your fist (and not your gas) tonight. If these items don't get you fired up for the show, nothing will...

10. We'll start with giving you an opportunity to meet the cast from the show. In case you thought you were dealing with regular people, let me introduce you to two celebrities -- Angelina, the Kim Kardashian of Staten Island, and the Situation. What? You don't know who the Situation is? Well if you don't know, now you know...

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It appears as if there are only two episodes left after Wednesday's episode of MTV's "Real World/Road Rules Challenge," which also means that "Jersey Shore" is another week closer to giving us our new MTV reality TV fix. As if the Gods knew the season was coming to a close, we were treated with a legendary drunken altercation that would've made C.T. proud. It was disappointing, however, that the producers left us in suspense with who got sent home after the Ruins. Feeling the need to add dramatic effect, they decided to cut the show off in the middle of the elimination portion and leave viewers in suspense. Let's be real. There was plenty of drama in the episode. Do we honestly care who won between the people that were up for elimination? No! Evan and Kenny are the only candidates left that would really make the dramatic pause worthwhile because even the attractive girls can't be tolerated at this point due to their craziness.  Keep Reading »

Anytime you start an episode of MTV's "Real World / Road Rules Challenge" with girls in bikinis by the pool, wine, and truth or dare, the show is already on its way to being a quality effort. MTV was slacking in recent weeks with the opening segments of the show. It's possible they were getting complacent given the momentum this season of "The Ruins" has already gained. They know they have their fan based wrapped up into the plot and there aren't many casual viewers who might tune in early and turn it off when they think the opening is as flat as Casey's chest pre-implants. But that's not what makes great TV. What makes great TV is constantly delivering to your fans and never taking them for granted. That's not what brought you the fans in the first place. So, for last night at least, bravo, MTV. Bravo.  Keep Reading »

Only 14 players remain after Wednesday's episode of the "Real World / Road Rules Challenge," leaving us to wonder how many episodes are left before we get to the final challenge. With that in mind, I felt I'd take a different approach to this week's write-up. No one has ever mistaken the cast of the show to be Harvard graduates, so it shouldn't be surprising how many amusing quotes there were this week. I compiled my favorites and will use them to recap another entertaining episode of the Ruins.

T.J.: "Much like today's challenge, these Toshiba's are smart, reliable, and will set you free."
I'm not sure what challenge our boy Teej was watching, but I have no idea what the fuck he's talking about. The challenge called "Fruits of Your Labor" involves the contestants taking fruit through the obstacle course without using their hands. The Champions start off behind as Evan, surprisingly, is being careless when throwing his fruit over the wall. The Champions make the comeback, as usual, because they have more manpower than the Challengers and take the victory. Now explain to me how bringing fruit through the obstacle course has anything to do with reliability and setting people free? It had to do with strength, speed, and man numbers. At least the "smart" aspect of the quote wasn't too far off. Nice job batting .333 T.J. Thankfully, the girls on the show aren't smart enough to realize he's a moron. They'll still nosh on his dong and set some of his semen free.  Keep Reading »

As a Mets fan unable to fully immerse myself in a World Series between the Yankees and the Phillies, I looked to Wednesday night's episode of MTV's "Real World/Road Rules Challenge" to fill my need for athletics. Unfortunately, it was rather light on drama and the result from the head-to-head competition in the Ruins proved to be the highlight of the show. We've grown to expect better from MTV's production staff. What is MTV paying the producers for if they can't put together some drama? There wasn't even much alcohol involved in last night's episode. Next time, have an ice luge magically appear by the pool area with a few bottles of Fleischmann's vodka in unlabeled containers. This will lead to at least two fights, five exposed boobs, and six killer hangovers. C'mon people!  Keep Reading »

Just when you thought you could stop watching MTV's "Real World/Road Rules Challenge," they reel you right back in! The drama with Wes has dramatically subsided, but the girls thankfully filled in this week. Whether it was crazy bitches fighting, whiny c-bags crying, or drunken whores yelling, you had all of it in this episode. Of course the guys stirred the pot a little bit, but that's what they're there for. What else are they supposed to do when they're not loading up on protein and shooting each other in the ass with a needle? They gotta keep themselves busy somehow.

Catfight #1 -- A Sorted History:
Tanya and Veronica's feud goes way back. Tonya's feuded with a lot of people because she's a crazy bitch who gets a little too sauced up. Veronica personifies the words "See you next Tuesday" and never backs down from a shouting match. Back on "The Inferno II," Veronica and the other girls were making fun of Tonya for masturbating in bed while other people were around. Of course, everyone reading this would've preferred the girls joined her or at least made sure the MTV producers taped it. That's another great moment that should've been captured on my premium channel version of the show (although Tonya's face looks a little bloated these days so I'm not as excited; PMS perhaps?).

Tonya's issues are deeply rooted.  Keep Reading »

After having two of the strongest episodes in the history of MTV's "Real World/Road Rules Challenge," the third episode fell flat on its face last night. It's hard to expect continued greatness for on ongoing series. Whether you're talking about the downhill slide of "Entourage" or how we wish "Rocky V," some series eventually come up a little short. We can only hope that it was just an off week for the cast, or for the editors who cut the episode together. It's also worth pointing out that this was the first episode that didn't prominently involve an explosion from Wes. A calm Wes does not make for a good show. Maybe he was cycling off for the episode.

The Leader of the House:
Evan made his debut during the Fresh Meat challenge of 2006 and has been the dominant player ever since. While he's up to his usual alliance tricks this season, it appears that he's thinking with his dick for the first time. Veronica approached him at the beginning of the episode because she felt vulnerable in the game and realized Evan was the best way to be safe. She seems to be the type that would do whatever it takes, even if it meant throwing her vagina on his face while he was sleeping. Being the red-blooded male that he is, Evan takes the bait and promises to protect Veronica. Johnny Bananas is immediately aware of what's going on when Evan doesn't nominate Veronica for the Ruins. Johnny doesn't seem to be O.K. with Veronica's methods for gaining protection, but if she were on his jock instead of Evan's, he wouldn't be complaining.  Keep Reading »

Editor's Note: Each Thursday, Mr. T will recap last night's episode of "The Real World/Road Rules Challenge: The Ruins," perhaps the greatest reality television show ever filmed. Previously: Episode 1.

It's only week two of MTV's "Real World/Road Rules Challenge," but the drama is at an all-time high. After the way last year started with C.T. and Adam throwing haymakers, we all thought a season would never start as strongly. Thankfully MTV was smart enough to throw the love pentagon into the mix and stack the teams so that all the juicers were on the same side. There's been talk in previous season of fixing competitions, but this is the earliest it's ever been an issue. Usually the first few weeks are a drunken party where the fat gets cut off. Fortunately for us, we're already in mid-season form.

You Backstabbin' Motherfucker:
Despite Wes' desire to let bygones be bygones, the Champions devise a plan to throw Wes' girlfriend Kelly Anne into the Ruins with her best friend Evelyn, the Champions' strongest female competitor. The friends have no idea about the plot until Johnny unveils it in the deliberation room. Evelyn and Wes are completely blindsided and lose their shit. Evelyn starts kicking any piece of furniture she can find and Wes threatens to beat Johnny's ass. You gotta wonder if Evelyn secretly wants to munch on Kelly Anne's box (or maybe she did at the Island and is secretly upset that Wes is stealing her girl)? Eventually they cut to a shot of Johnny walking around without a shirt on, a move you know he instituted to make him look tough. The best part is that Evan and Kenny didn't even have to break the news. They probably knew shit would go down, so they must have suggested that Johnny do it in the deliberation room.  Keep Reading »

What are the odds that a PG-13 version of Playboy TV's new series, "King of Clubs," ends up on Spike or TBS? Wouldn't the transition between "Office" reruns and this behind-the-scenes look at Palomino club in Vegas be seamless?

Best line of the clip above: "I've got some serious stripper drama going on up here." The video is SFW, btw.

I have to hand it to VH1...they are crushing reality television shows these days. Somehow they have morphed from boring music channel that plays Sheryl Crow to having some of the funniest shit on TV. My two favorite...  Keep Reading »