These Frenchies know how to chay...  Keep Reading »

Just when you think to yourself that the world can't possibly take a turn for the worse, Obama wins the fucking Noble Prize for being able to wipe his own ass and now the New York State Liquor Authority (SLA) is seeking to basically prohibit the playing of beer pong in New York City bars. This just in, apparently playing beer pong causes people to drink excessively. Go figure.

According to Grub Street, the SLA argues that beer pong encourages people to drink without limits. Well, that makes sense because last time I was out I didn't even play beer pong but I realized my limit. Once the bouncer escorted me out for pissing on the bar, and another patron's shin, I knew it was about time to leave.  Keep Reading »

A few weeks ago, a good friend of mine told me about something AMAZING. He called it "bar golf." I had never heard of such a thing, and upon listening to his explanation, I was shocked (and appalled) that I hadn't...  Keep Reading »

I'm interning at a pretty sick hedge fund this summer in NYC that naturally my dad hooked me up with so I have to try my best to make a good impression. The guys at the office know I like to party so I usually get asked to tag along when they want to go out and have a big night. However, there are a few dudes in the office who are so fucking lame that I try to avoid them at all costs. There's this one dude who thinks he's fucking Gordon Gecko with hair waxed back, initials embroidered on his custom button downs, and Gucci buckle loafers in every situation. I imagine that paints a pretty clear picture... this dude is a giant homo.

Anyways, last week we have a late night at the office and after I finished up this bullshit assignment for this douchebag, he invites me out to a late dinner. I make up every possible excuse about how I can't make it but he won't let me bail. So we head downtown to this burger place that no matter what hour it is, there is always a line. It's about midnight when we put our name down on the list and they tell us it will be about a 30-minute wait (only in fucking New York would people wait 30 minutes for a burger at midnight on a Tuesday). We sit down at the bar and order a round of beers (Bud Heavy draft for me, Michelob Ultra for Boy George). We're having awkward dialogue until I notice out of the corner of my eye a beautiful angel sitting a few stools down with a sad look on her face. She catches me staring and kind of gives me a half smile, half puppy dog eyes expression.

Finally after exchanging glances, she interrupts our conversation and asks how we get a table... smart girl. I obviously invite her to join our table and she happily accepts. Five minutes later our name is called and we are seated at a table in the back. The Gordon Gecko imposter thinks I'm a legend for inviting her to join us and does every obnoxious move in the books to impress her. Flashes his watch, talks about his house in the Hamptons, he could not be a bigger loser. She is polite while he tells these stories but you could tell there was something in the back of her mind that she wanted to lay out on the table. We ask her to tell us a little about herself and without holding back, she tells us that she just got dumped by her boyfriend of 5 years and he had already moved onto a new girl, a former co-worker of hers. Clearly distraught, this chick is guzzling Pinot Noirs at the dinner table as I stare at this fragile dove who is so clearly giving the signs that she needs a rebound stuff. My only poor play of the evening is when she asks us both how old we are and not having a good barring on her age, tell her my actual age (21). She turns out to be 31 which plays perfectly for Don Juan next to me who is 35. I definitely lose footing but I refuse to go out without a fight.  Keep Reading »

For quite some time, I thought New York City was the only place in the United States where bouncers at bars and nightclubs were complete assholes. Then I went to Miami, and Las Vegas, and Chicago, and Los Angeles,...  Keep Reading »

New York City has been and always will be the place to go if you're an 18 to 25 yrd old in the tri-state region looking for a night out. So last winter break, my bros and I decided to head to Penn Station for a little Beer, Pizza, and Sports Center at the famous Rose Pizza. After gulping down a couple 32. oz big gulps worth of beer and three slices of pepperoni pizza I was feeling pretty good and ready to go in search of some popular bars....

......and this is where my night took its horrible MTA-related turn.

One of my bros yells out, we gotta get on the subway, get an MTA card, now, ...this seemed like an inconvenient expense at the moment since I'd need every dollar in my wallet to spend at the bar and maybe some late night taco bell. So, in my impaired state, the subway turn-style looked more like a track hurdle....so I hopped right over it flawlessly thinking no one even saw....

.....until a man in tan pants and a black jacket approaches me and pulls out his badge...Now, if any of you fellow bros out there have been in this kind situation, you know how mind blowing and frightening it really is...FREEZE! NYPD Undercover, Up against the wall, give me your wallet....This guy was all over me and my drunken bros were helplessly watching, man this honestly was the worst buzz kill....  Keep Reading »

The 5th season of Entourage came to a close last night and in my opinion, it was the weakest season thus far. The show is masterfully done but I felt this season was off mark. You watch it to see the glitz and glamour...  Keep Reading »

Saw the Roots perform last night in NYC. Fucking sick. I've seen them a few times before and they always kill it. Hip hop music sounds so much better with a live band behind it. Also, the Gym Class Heroes opened up for...  Keep Reading »

For quite some time, I thought New York City was the only place in the United States where bouncers at bars and nightclubs were complete and utter assholes. Than I went to Miami, and Las Vegas, and Chicago, and Los...  Keep Reading »