After leafing through the newest issue Playboy and baring witness to Farrah Fawcett's super-human rocket nipples and then reading our article on cougar hunting from last week, I decided to sit myself down -- on the shitter -- and ask myself a life- and even shit density-changing question. Which 10 celebrities, among the living and over the age of 40, would I really love to fuck?

The above is one of life's most intricate, and yet delicate, questions. Can there really be a wrong answer? After all, an individuals' picks are based on personal preference and whose hip he would really want to break or at the very least painfully displace. But, I suppose if I said I wanted to fuck Oprah Winfery, I'd lose all credibility, my job at BroBible, and hopefully the use of my penis. So perhaps there can be a few incorrect responses.  Keep Reading »



Ah, the cougar. The felicitous, sexually savvy, 40-something female puma who preys on men two decades her junior. In the same genus of the "milf," she is usually pre- or post-menopausal. Her behavior involves stalking and seducing bros in habitats like sports bars, car shows, and college town nightclubs teeming with tender, intoxicated fresh meat to fuck. With her predatory and confident ways, she is a relative to the panther and the jaguar, yet often lacks the keen and discrete social graces of mature, Vodka tonic-guzzling Mrs. Robinson types. Sometimes her aggressive, sexually-suggestive flirting and willingness to play beer pong is comical. Other times, it's just sad.



The etymology of the word "cougar" in its modern praxis dates back to Carrie Bradshaw and "Sex and the City," but the idea is nothing new, claiming thematic relevancy in "The Graduate "and "American Pie," perhaps even tracing its roots back to the incestuous saga of Jocasta, the Milf of Thebes who couldn't resist her own son, King Oedipus himself (gross). None the less, the cougar phenomenon has somewhat jumped the shark in the past few years, at times implying a botoxed monstrosity who dines on Ambien and Merlot, other times suggesting a self-actualized, feminine liberation of middle-aged women who have every damn right on God's green earth to fulfill their supercharged libidos however they please. One thing is certain: It's almost impossible to ignore this golden era of the Great Cougar Renaissance in the cultural zeitgeist, with a cougar-themed cruise, the cougar-related websites Cougar Life and Cougar Patrol, a reality show, a national cougar convention in San Fransisco, the dubiously-titled B-comedy "Cougar Hunting" starring Lara Flynn Boyle, and "Cougar Town", a prime time show with Courteney Cox on ABC.



Sassy, slutty, or trashy? That's up for you to decide.

If you're a novice cougar hunter and trying to bag and tag a trophy, here's a field guide to the many different sub-species of cougar, meant to be used in the field for observation and classification purposes. Happy hunting.




The Vengeful Divorcee Cougar
Commonly Found: Country clubs; yacht clubs; the gym


Description: This puma's slick, hedge fund manager of an ex-husband was hot in the pants. With the assistance of a private investigator, she caught him banging his hot personal trainer at a Holiday Inn Express. Pissed she wasn't getting in on nearly as much action as her silver fox, she had the divorce papers drafted up. Except she agreed to a pre-nup back in the '80s before they were cool. Although she came out of the divorce with a time share in Maui, she's still filled with a deep-seated loathing toward anything that reminds her of husband, thus she'll hatefuck anyone under 28. Generally athletic, she sometimes hunts in packs with other bitter, ravenous, and obnoxious vengeful divorcees at exclusive enclaves.

  Keep Reading »

Editor's Note: Got an epic story of your own from last weekend? Unleash it in the Brommunity or send it in to brobibleeditor (at) gmail (dot) com.

This past weekend, a few Bros and I made the voyage out to Newport, Rhode Island, for two days of crushing and bro bonding. The intention was to get as fucked up as possible during the day and hopefully make it out for some cougar hunting at night. Friday night was somewhat of a wash as we got to the house around midnight and decided to stay in and get wrecked.

We woke up around 10 a.m. on Saturday and immediately crushed the beach. Armed with a football that throws perfect spirals, five 30 racks and a set of pro kadima, we were determined to bring a seriously fratty vibe to the beach. The scene at the beach was mixed -- a handful of families, packs of high school girls, and random couples made up the demographic. But when it came to Bros, there was very little competition. We immediately started tossing the pigskin and shotgunning beers while older folk looked on in horror/astonishment.

After we got our beach fix, the party continued at an outdoor bar where all different types of drink concoctions started flowing. Think "Weekend at Bernie's" meets "Cocktail" meets "Field of Dreams." We met a herd of broads at the bar who were all relatively attractive and down to party. I ended up hitting it off with one of the birds, who played basketball at a Big 10 school. She was tall but not awkwardly tall and had some of the most amazing stems I've come across. We exchanged math and made a plan to meet up later that night.  Keep Reading »

Blame my childhood obsession with white tigers or my teenage fondness for the American Pie franchise, but for some reason, whenever I see an older woman with a younger guy, I feel warm inside -- like I've just taken a shot of whiskey. Maybe it's their confidence, their swagger, or their screw-what-the-world-thinks attitude that I find so intoxicating -- and I'm a woman. I can only imagine the effect they have on younger men, or cubs, as referred to in Cougarland.

So what makes one a cougar? Urban Dictionary boasts over 50 definitions, which range from a seasoned M.I.L.F. to a Cute Older Unmarried Gal Aggressively Recruting. However, the definition I find most accurate comes from Urbancougar.com. According to the site, "A cougar is a sophisticated, sexy older woman who generally prefers the company of a younger man. She has acknowledged her true self, embraced her sexual identity, and now lives her life to its fullest. Always one for adventure, she knows what she wants and isn't afraid to get it." Like The Killers who once dominated the underground indie rock music scene, it seems cougars have also crawled out of their dens and gone mainstream. There's even a dating site for cougars, cubs... and wait for it...prey.

Recently, one of my Bros crawled into the lion's den to shack up with a 48-year-old lioness and since his trip to the petting zoo, he's been smiling from ear to ear. Are cougars more eager? Are their sexual appetites insatiable? Or, is it simply a numbers game? While most studies claim that men reach their sexual peak between the ages of 18-25, women do not peak until their mid thirties -- the prime age of cougars. To get a better understanding of life inside the den, I asked my 27-year-old Cougar Hunting pal to indulge me in a little Q & A:

Kammeo: What do you think are the benefits of dating a cougar?
Cougar Hunter: Their sexual experience and openness. There's no game playing.  Keep Reading »

After reading the emotional thriller "Making A Good Impression" by Champagne Campaign on this sensational website, I decided to share my own New Year's Eve adventure. This tale takes place in our nation's capital, Washington DC. My buddy was having about 30 people over to bring in the New Year at his apartment. I got there around 11 pm but was not in the New Years spirit. I was hungover from the night before and had to wake up early for a flight out of Dulles the next morning. In any event, I had promised one of my friends I would stop by, take down a few cocktails, and then quietly dip out after midnight. Little did I know I'd find someone that would throw a wrench in my plans.  Keep Reading »

Dad not amused. Cougar busted.  Keep Reading »

If you are into that kind of thing.  Keep Reading »

I chose to do this writing piece based upon my true love for cougars and pumas. I 'was' into the whole 'MILF' thing, just like many of you still are, for quite awhile (since I was able to pop wood). But eventually you...  Keep Reading »