While pumping iron last night at my local New York Sports Club -- between the bouts of gawking at cute little vixens, thinking about things I'd rather be doing (coitus with said vixens) and actually working out -- something dawned on me. Every single gym I have ever been too is exactly the same. Sure the facilities and machinery may differ, but the patrons are all eerily similar.

Even though I am a personal trainer (non-practicing), I still only go to the gym because I am programmed too, not because I love doing it. While I'm there, all I want is solitude, a freshly Windex'd mirror, my music and whatever malice-filled thoughts I need to get through it. Unfortunately for me, other people exist, so this heavenly scenario is impossible. Below is a list of some of the people that I sadly keep finding at every gym I have ever gone too.

(Side Note: This does not apply to anyone who works out in a home gym, unless of course, you suffer from severe schizophrenia.)

1. The Playa: This guy usually is in pretty good shape, although you rarely see him doing any actual exercises. Instead he spends the majority of his time trying to hit on females by way of correcting their form or asking if he can "work in." If it were socially acceptable, this guy would walk around sporting an all-out boner with a 25 lb. plate hanging from it.  Keep Reading »