After watching eight weeks of football, I've had enough. No, I'm not talking about the games themselves (which I wish lasted all year long) or the amount of pathetic franchises stepping foot on the field. I'm talking about the Bud Light "Tailgate Approved" advertising campaign that has been forced upon us during numerous commercials breaks. No one cares about these awful combination ideas like the grooler or foozie. The pitchman is annoying as fuck and the commercials just aren't funny. What happened to the humorous Bud Light commercials of yesteryear? If they ran these during the Super Bowl, they'd be taking much more flack for such a mediocre effort.

Who were the ad wizards who came out with this sack of shit campaign, you ask? A little advertising agency named Cannonball, out of St Louis. If you go to their website, you'll see their TV reel, which includes previous Bud Light campaigns. They did the one where a stripper pole moonlighted as a fireman's pole in a guy's apartment. That was humorous. The "Tailgate Approved" campaign that's shoved down our throat is nothing like that. For the love of God, fire the hack that green-lighted this dogshit and let's move on. Jimmy, go fuck yourself!!

Survivor Pick of the Week:

ATLANTA over Washington
Things are getting lean in the world of Survivor as most pools should be down to 25% of the original entrants at this point. Arizona disappointed some people last week, but not Mr. T, as I went with America's team. There are some juicy high spreads this week to lead you in a certain direction, but given what teams you've already chosen, you might find yourself up shit's creek without a paddle. I'll look to the Falcons this week, who gladly return home after a couple of tough road games. Matt Ryan's numbers show he's a much better player on home turf. Despite extra time to prepare with the bye week, I don't expect Washington's offense to look any more productive than what we've seen in previous weeks. Soon enough Dan Snyder will cast out Jim Zorn, who hopefully doesn't end up as ashamed as this guy.
Previously used: Green Bay, Baltimore, Chicago, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, Indianapolis, and Dallas  Keep Reading »

Without a doubt, the television is the world's greatest invention. The light bulb? Overrated. The automobile? Environment killer. The printing press? Really. Here's some sour news, Jack, the printing press blows. Gutenberg's precious invention can't give me "Hard Knocks" or grant me the ability to watch the youthful stupidity of "Parental Control" five times a day. Case closed.

Despite its awesomeness, TV comes with its own set of perils, the worst of which is annoying commercials. And they're reproducing like cockroaches: Flo from Progressive Insurance, she of the blood-red lipstick and toxic personality; the musically impaired dweebs from FreeCreditReport.com; anyone associated with the awful club music from the Optimum Triple Play package. With ad wizards coming up with gems like these, I'm truly scared for what the future will bring. It's very possible our ears will bleed.

Thank God for the mute button.

Not only does it insulate us from obnoxious pitchmen and terrifying jingles (while allowing us not to miss out on our favorite shows), but it protects these fine actors and actresses from bodily harm. I'm totally convinced that the mute button has saved Flo from being gunned down by an annoyed public a la Tony Montana at the end of "Scarface." The three guys from FreeCreditReport.com can now play at open mics within driving distance of their crappy apartments, secure in the knowledge that only half the nation hates them.

The mute button can also make good programming great (sporting events featuring Kevin Harlan, Cinemax's late night entertainment, Katy Perry videos) while providing opportunities to have fruitful discussions with your couch partner. Example:

"You wanna get pizza?"

"Yeah, that'll work."

That exchange can be put down on your resume as a multi-tasking skill.

But the mute button is more than just a helpful technological tool. It gives us a sense of power over our entertainment. Once you mute something, only you can determine when that person speaks again. Do that in real life, and you're facing a kick in the groin or criminal charges.

That little button's power is truly large. Let's give it the proper respect. Here, then, after the jump are the top 10 most annoying, mute button-essential commercials on TV.  Keep Reading »