A Girl Asks: How Can I Convince a Guy to Just Be F-Buddies? (Updated with Screenshot Proof of Email!)
by Waffles McButter | Tuesday, December 1, 2009 at 8:18am | 33 comments - 349 readsNOT FOUND: 200This is the latest installment of Ask A Bro with Waffles McButter. Got a question of your own for Waffles? Email wafflesmcbutter@brobible.com. You can also now follow Waffles on Twitter or be his friend on Facebook.
Dear Waffles McButter,
First and foremost I would like to admit my innate yearning for you to one day be mine. I know that's a little fucked up, but I'd like to imagine that behind the waffle there is a guy that would completely ravish my body and do things to me otherwise unimaginable to even my deepest, naughtiest fantasies. Now I can completely accept if you choose not to answer my question as you may feel as though you should not divulge said information to a girl. However, please trust me when I say that your insight will only provide quality, meaningless sex for bros in the area.
Here's my conundrum:
For the past two weeks I have been having wild sex with this guy I met and have firmly stated that I want nothing more than for him to fuck my brains out and then part our ways. A pretty cut and dry situation I would like to assume, no? Anyways, he seemingly has a problem with my approach to our arrangement as he constantly calls me out saying that I should care more and not be so heartless. This is where I'm like, what the fuck? Is this not every guy's desire -- to have a girl that will literally let you do whatever the hell you want to her and ask nothing in return? Again, I would like to assume so. So, I ask you, how on God's green earth do I convey to this guy that it's not that I'm heartless, I'm just looking to be fucked, (don't guys do this all the time?), no strings attached? Or, is it even worth it at this point?
Chay and get laid,
Broadsanonymous
Dearest Bra,
Youve certainly garnered my attention. If all the blood in my body didnt just rush to my dick, I would probably be blushing from your heartfelt expressions. Your current quagmire, however, isnt as elementary as my peniss reaction to your wonderful words.
In my opinion (and other Bros feel free to chime in on this) several things could have happened to cause the guy -- whose little soldier is currently calling your vagina his base camp -- to get shell shocked and all starry-eyed. I dont know this gent personally so I am going to do what I generally always do in these instances and that is make some haphazard assumptions. One possibility is that the kid doesnt like free milk or sharing his milk with other men. He wants his cow (poor analogy I agree) all to himself. Two, youre a stone-cold fox and he considers himself a bit of a slapdick, so he wants to cling on to the good thing. He figures the sex is good, he has low self-esteem, and he doesnt want to lose you. Three, he hates that you took the upper hand by letting him know that he was nothing more than your fuck toy. Men love dominance, and you establishing it for yourself probably cuts him to his core. Or finally, and as rare to you as this may sound, the guy might genuinely like you -- not every guy is a lifetime playboy who yearns to fuck every breed of mammal.
I think you need to be blunt and tell him your intentions -- even if you already told him. If he cant comply with the type of relationship that you want, find another guy who will. There are loads of Bros out there who can give your vagina the emotionless sex it needs and deserves. Like, say, yours truly.
With my undying love,
Waffles
UPDATE: Desert Dog, here's your screenshot:
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Comments
Waffles, I would never question your integrity, but can we see a blurred out screenshot of the email for verification??
I think I might be in love...who is this angel?
Waffles, you need to track this chick down and give her the best pounding of her life
Kevery Kiss Begins With Chay, can I just say that your user name might be my favorite on this site that is quality
Kevery Kiss Begins With Chay, can I just say that your user name might be my favorite on this site that is quality
Agreed, Every Kiss Begins With Chay... true bro
this is one bad bitch
i couldnt even begin to say what i would do to this woman in bed
broadsanonymous, if you're in new york over the holidays, i will gladly give you the ravishing of your life. i've never played a jv sport and have the sickest flow of anyone on this site. i also work with a steel rod, even after substance abuse. let me know. <3
Someone had the fuckin stones to question the authenticity of the email? I'm a little hurt by that.
Chayvid, hold your horses, if this broad is in NYC, I clearly get first licks. She might be in a wheelchair when I'm done with her, but you can certainly have whatever is left.
Listen you broad, first of let me tell you how much of a piece of trash you are for writing this letter. "However, please trust me when I say that your insight will only provide quality, meaningless sex for bros in the area"
Are you fucking serious? Someone needs a father figure. Secondly, what are you fucking 8? If you're grown whore like you make it out to be, tell this douche to pound sand. It's pretty fucking simple. You may have to much cum in your eyes to read this but, when they are clear say this to him.
Dear Bro,
I only want to bang you and nothing else. If you dont get that, then dont talk to me. Period the end.
Love,
Huge Skank
God, what happend to the class in this fucking country.
BrOSTON,
WTF? I'm sure Waffles doesn't get tons of e-mails from women seeking advice every day. Why go scaring them off with this kind of unnecessary shit?
NB
unnecessary shit?
Fact of the matter is, she needs to be called out for what she is. Another trashy girl. I have zero respect for it. All she is doing is clearly writing this message to get some positive attention for how much of a skank she is. She needs to find another avenue to try and boost her less then existent self esteem. I' m not buying it.
unnecessary shit?
Fact of the matter is, she needs to be called out for what she is. Another trashy girl. I have zero respect for it. All she is doing is clearly writing this message to get some positive attention for how much of a skank she is. She needs to find another avenue to try and boost her less then existent self esteem. I' m not buying it.
Chill Northern Bro...this Broston fella is obviously a chode and a future star of "Jersey Shore"...dont be a guido faggot Broston, you know you would slay that vag
BrOSTON-
Although we all know that Bros love letting a girl know how much of a worthless slut they are, this is some reveling shit. Enough with the second hand bro-hating.
All of the above...go d1 or go home man that's how it works. this girl is unclassy however depending on her location....waffles has already pounded that bitch. all of you can s my d and i'll out drink any of you any day
MG out
afjay22, It's true,I write Affliction on all my pastel colored Vineyard Vines polos.
Hey Im all for this kinda chick, but I gotta give some kudos to BrOSTON, this girl is trashy, so you gotta treat her as what she is. For fucks sake, Broad, go find another dude, there's a billion that would gladly fuck your brains out.
Hey BROston.. Why don't you fucking chill kid? You're telling me that because a broad wants to have a fuck buddy she's a whore? Ummm really? That in and of itself is a little hypocritcal as it's not like she's bangin' tons of guys.. She's sticking to one to get what she wants. Can't say the letter bleeds classiness, but let's be honest with ourselves, you can't call a girl unclassy because she wants a fuck buddy. Perhaps the way in which she conveyed her question wasn't so classy, but you have to admit it was pretty funny and I think it appeals to a broader range of readers on this site and it was done so on purpose. You need to take things with a grain of salt. If anything I venture to say your one of the guys as Waffles mentioned that can't handle a girl that knows what she's wants. Not to mention your confident ability to harass someone via Brobible, I venture to say is lost in the real world. It's letters like this that keep this site interesting, so figure it out and aquire a sense of humour kid. Cheers.
BrOSTON has clearly been inflicted with an STD by a similar class of girl - and by the intensity of his responses, it isn't one that's cleared away by an ample dosing of penicillin... Don't hate the player, hate the game... and your own dumb ass for not wrapping it up...
Heartless girls are a treat in the sack
The whole point of my post(s) was to point out how classless she presented herself as well as the fact this email was not done for any other reason for A shameless self esteem bump. If get to the central thesis of her whore rant it's, "I want to know how to fuck as many dudes as possible but keep it no strings attached."
That's not a girl knowing what she wants, its a girl posting a question on an all guys site hoping she gets dude saying they want to (insert joke) while presenting herself as a classless whore. What's so hard to understand.
I don't understand why I need to keep repeating myself?
P.S The only avenue I have to "harass" this person is through this site? Unless, I missed the in person meeting with her. Did I? I mean it's true i'd still bang her.
Dear Butters,
I'm bangning Megan Fox
The whole point of my post(s) was to point out how classless she presented herself as well as the fact this email was not done for any other reason for A shameless self esteem bump. If get to the central thesis of her whore rant it's, "I want to know how to fuck as many dudes as possible but keep it no strings attached."
That's not a girl knowing what she wants, its a girl posting a question on an all guys site hoping she gets dude saying they want to (insert joke) while presenting herself as a classless whore. What's so hard to understand.
I don't understand why I need to keep repeating myself?
P.S The only avenue I have to "harass" this person is through this site? Unless, I missed the in person meeting with her. Did I? I mean it's true i'd still bang her.
I like to assume you have some sort of knowledge in your head, however your thesis is completely off base. She's asking about the ONE guy she's involved with. ONE bro - which therefore negates any logic of you using the word whore. Just cut your losses on this one kid because while your point about a lack of class in the letter is valid, the rest are not. Your ability to jump all over someone, whether it be a broad or not simply hints to the fact that perhaps you are the most insecure and furtherest thinng from bro on this site. Go rub one off or get laid or something... You need to chill out. Cheers.
BrOSTON, i think we get your point, but don't be so quick to judge. girls will never want to fuck as much as bros do, however, there obviously are some outliers who have been blessed with a hormonal imbalance that causes them to yearn for some quality, dependable ween. to write to this site though? youre dead on - attention - you bet your ass she's checking this site every 10 minutes looking for the latest comment.
Yo whats up with all this fightin, we should be unitin. y'all egos need deflatin, gangstas please quit all this hatin.
i agree with from Broston.
So I'm here to set the record straight. I actually had to join this site as I felt compelled to not so much defend myself but perhaps offer the point of view that many of you fail to even remotely consider as a viable option. Brobible for me offers nothing more than that of an outlet for a good laugh, while it offers more often than vaild points for not only men, but also women. When I wrote that letter my train of thought was this... I had just ran in circles for a good TWO hours with this guy, being honest of my intentions with him (as I had just gone through 8 months of no-sex hell) that I really didn't want anything more. I'm sure many can relate to the frustrations of being straight with someone and them just not getting it no matter what way you put it. So I figured who better to honestly ask than the man himself? I trust it's hard for many of you to believe that that was my honest intention but be it your own perogative to think otherwise.
That being said, the way it which I wrote the letter was intended to appeal to the reader, more specifically Waffles, in such a way that provided humour for one and other. It was meant to lack class and tact because once in a while, actually more often than not, it appeals to someone more than a serious approach to asking the question.
It was meant to generate discussion, but definitely not to result in bashing of one and other. BrOSTON and everyone else is entitled to their opinion and I respect that. Unfortunately, contrary to yours and popular belief I'm not a a whore and as previously stated, I really could not find a way to convey to this meathead that I didn't want a relationship. Whether you respect honest intentions or not, you do so on your own terms that I respect. While I admit there are statements that elude to being a whore, I don't think if they were omitted anyone would've posted different reactions as you have an unforutunate mindset that any girl that holds the upper and in terms of NSA sex, is a whore.
I hope this comforts some and hopefully puts an end to the all bashing. Sorry gentlemen, I'm a Canadian girl so the only time I ever venture to the states is for lacrosse or shopping. Later days ladies and gents.
Fuck, this really escalated since the last time I looked. Broadsanonymous; If Im being honest, I found your email to be telling and refreshingly truthful. Whether or not you meant any of it in jest or not, the fact remains that NOT every girl wants a relationship and I think there is nothing wrong with a girl wanting to be single and just having a dude she fucks with relative consistancy on the side. Having that doesnt make you a whore or trashy...
Meant every word... :) <3
Waffles/Bra,
Can I sing at your wedding?
Any girl that posts on this site regardless of the validity of their comment should be required to attach a pic of the goods...
HEY BROADSANONYMOUS POST NUDES!!!
And From BrOSTON: Fuck your bitch attitude. There are two types of women. Sluts and Skanks. The difference is the amount of eye shadow. So fuck you. If she wants to get laid, boom she can. If she needs help in doing so and isn't an ugly skankbag (I'm a slut man myself, a pillow covered in the remains of a skanks face is shitty) she should have the support of every red blooded brew pounding beaver slaying BRO on this site.
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