The 10 Most Regrettable Tattoos a Man Can Get
by Waffles McButter | November 12, 2009 - 8:36am | 37 comments - 167 reads[inline:child] A Child's Face We get it, you're a proud father. But your daughter is uglier than shit, probably going to wind up becoming a whore, and by the looks of it she has a minor retardation or at the very least a learning disability. [inline:cartoon] Cartoons I get that you like Mighty Mouse and now, thanks to your "no sleeves" policy, I also get that you are a fucking tool. It was kind of you to remove all doubt. (Note the sick hoop earring in the picture. I bet there would be a parade if this guy died.) [inline:name] Lover's Name/Initials When I am really into a broad, I show her so by letting her keep a toothbrush at my place or every once in a while I won't blow my load in her ear canal. But one thing I will never do for her is dedicate a piece of my gorgeous flesh in her honor. That is prime real estate and no two-bit floozie deserves that kind of praise. Getting a lover's name tattooed on you is a horrendous idea because when the love fades, and it will, she is going to revel in the fact that you have her name emblazoned on your person. Before you get her name inked on your body, keep in mind that only the tattoo and herpes last forever. [inline:buff] Barbwire I love seeing people who got these in the height of their popularity only for them to be faded and flabby 10 years later (atrophy is such a hoot). It's not even a contest: the ugly "Mom" tattoos of the 80s notwithstanding, these were the most overdone tattoos in the history of mankind. The only real question left is: whatever happened to good ole Buff Bagwell? [inline:shaq] Superheroes O.K., Shaq, you can have one. But no one else should ever be allowed to get this tattoo, not even an actor who portrayed the superhero in a movie or T.V series. Just imagine the backlash if we allowed Christopher Reeves get one. The guy couldn't even ride a fuckin' horse so it's pretty questionable about just how "super" he really was. [inline:chinese] Chinese Symbols What you think might be the symbol for "strength" actually winds up being the symbol for "cocksucker." It's funny how things shake out like that. [inline:scorp] Zodiac Signs If you believe for one second that the position of the moon had any bearing on how you turned out as an individual, stop reading here and go funnel bleach. You are a deadbeat loser because your mother smoked crack during pregnancy, not because you were born a fucking Scorpio. It would have been more poetic if you were born a Cancer, because that's what you are. [inline:knucke] Knuckle Tats I saw a guy on the subway this weekend with these blatantly awesome knuck tats. He was homeless and begging for money. And that, my friends, brought a smile to my gorgeous face. [inline:tribal] Tribal Are you in a tribe or a warrior of any kind? No? I didn't think so, Chief Bagadouche. Now take a lap and then kindly scalp yourself. Thanks. [inline:tear] Teardrop (In Australia) In the United States, a teardrop symbolizes that you have no qualms when it comes to killing a mother fucker, but in Australia, this tattoo carries a whole different meaning. Having a teardrop tattooed on your face down under denotes that you've served time for molesting a child and getting the teardrop -- while in the joint -- is apparently non-negotiable. Let's just say you can kiss goodbye any shot you had at getting a job at a daycare.
You are forgetting all those queer ass lax tats that every lacrosse player seems they need to have to let everyone know that they like whacking each other with their skinny sticks.
Finally! Someone who doesn’t cream themselfs everytime the word Lax is used. (I hope) So many better sports to talk about Bros…seriously
Lax tats have no place in lacrosse culture. Tell me how many lax tats you see at a final 4 game.
Anyone who has a lax tattoo was most likely a scrub in high school/college and is trying too hard to fit into lax culture. Whenever I see a toolbag with lax sticks crossed on one of his ankles I cringe at the thought of what his lefty low-to-high must look like.
amen. I’m sick of reading on this site about laxx bro and so sick bro and fuckin flow. clearly the main posters are ny/jersey douchebags. Laxx is a great sport, but no one really plays (4 states and a handful of other towns across america) it so get over yourselves and talk about bball and football that all bro’s actually care about.
Bengaldom, you seem to be very unintelligent. I don’t know if you check the website often…but football is on the front page on the reg. Whether it be from Jared Allen’s flow of the week award, or the weekly fantasy football reviews.
People seem to not realize that true bros excel and love lax, but have an appreciation for most of the other legit sports, which are vital to the bro lifestyle.
As the Bro Files is right, a bro by nature can make miracles with a twig but does appreciate other sports and usually can excel at most athletic endeavors.
my old lax coach has a lax tat. probably the most bad ass/intimidating/funniest guy i’ve ever met. he got suspended from the mll for breaking casey powell’s jaw. he is a former penn st all american, hamilton pollard.
Bengaldom makes a valid point. You would think lax was the #1 sport in America with how much its covered on here. In reality, most pro laxers probably have to hold down a full time job to pay their bills.
Really Barry ManiBro? Is that because the MLL is maybe ten years old? Good call…
Barry, lax has been around forever, pro or not, if the masses wanted it, it would have flourished by now. I wasn’t knocking the sport, but if this site going to cover lax they might as well cover the wnba and arena football too.
coolest possible tattoo you can get is olympic rings if you are/were an olympian. absolutely no one can talk smack about that.
what about tramp stamps and boob tats? those are the worst!!!!
How about we cover a true Bro sport - RUGBY. I fucking hate Lacrosse. It’s boring to watch and most of the players that I have met are complete douchebags. Pads are for pussies.
college wrestling is a true bro sport, there is no major league wrestling when they are done. They do it for the love of the sport and there are some guys with some bad ass flow
1. Everything said about bros and respecting other sports is 100% true; but lax epitomizes bro mentality so barry manibro shut the fuck up. 2. I play Rugby and yes it is awesome, but Flanker07 you are a clearly a douchebag.
Another dipshit defending women’s version of field hockey. Go play with your softstick Unsmooth it’ll make you feel better.
I’m curious where you read the Australia story. I could be wrong, but so far when I try to find any information about it I don’t see anything reliable except for more blog sites. I’m wondering if you found that somewhere or if you’re simply going off internet myth?
Its on wikipedia. Type in teardrop tattoos in the search. I assume that will satisfy ur question.
Wikipedia just cites another internet blog as their source. Doesn’t seem like much proof to me. I mean I’ve heard weirder stuff so it could very well be true, but I’m calling internet BS on this one.
flanker07 no one in america gives a shit about rugby, its only popular in europe and australia. and despite the fact lacrosse players wear pads, we still get plenty of injuries. so go eat shit you stupind foreign fuck
if you are really upset with the love of lax than why are you on this site? its clearly aimed to entertain elite blue blooded lax players of New England and the bay area. Sorry if our community isnt inclusive to your lax-hater lifestyle,
My bro used to live in australia, according to him the teardrop does mean that.
obviously lax is the most bro sport. golf and hockey are close seconds. no bros are in baseball. shit is for straight white trash from kentucky.
how’d this get into a conversation about lax? Waffles has the tattoo article down pat. i got a friend with a tribal…hes a fucking tool. And just to get my piece in lax is a bro sport, i dont play anymore and i was never any good but all bros must have an appreciation for all sports-and lax is a fucking sweet sport. I love football and bball and rugby and played all of them but still gotta show love to the sport with the greatest flow and greatest chay mentality there is. keep up the good work brobible
Flanker07, you’re the man. you fucking rule. start your own blog
i honestly know one kid that plays rugby, hes 1. a pussy, 2. comes back to pop warner football games(where i had to drive my brother) and sells dip to like 5th graders and 3 had onegirlfriend all through highschool and i wouldnt touch her with my backup long pole
People complaining about lax being only played in 4 states, and being covered too often on this website GTFO. This website is geared toward the audience that lives in those “four states” and typically toward the lax fan. This website should cover what they want and if people give a shit about what the website says they will probably come back.
Barry ManiBro… let’s not forget where a lot of these lax bros go to college Hopkins, Duke, UVA, Brown, Harvard, Princeton, Cornell, Georgetown, etc. it’s safe to say that your boss, financial advisor, plastic surgeon, etc. probably played lacrosse in college and quite possibly got his elite Wall Street job based on how sick his game was or how many points he scored on Memorial Day weekend. basically “lax bros” continue to, in the real world, do the same shit to you that their team did to your frat during the good years like water balloon your shitty lawn party full of inbred skanks. in addition, let’s not forget that lax bros are former football, soccer, basketball players who pass up legit D1 scholarships in those sports to play a sport that is just more fun. plus dudes like Even Royster played lax and he’s a beast.
“let’s not forget that lax bros are former football, soccer, basketball players who pass up legit D1 scholarships in those sports to play a sport that is just more fun”
doubt it. not fb or bball for sure. laxers are too small for fb and short for bball. but sick flow bro, so sick.
lax bros pass up those sports bc they aren’t good enough. instead they focus on a sport played in 4 states and gets 2 games on national tv a year. but sick flow.
read this on some kids blog:
As previously mentioned before, Im trying to learn the game of lacrosse for work. This is what Ive learned:
Lacrosse is more boring than cricket.
For some God-forsaken reason, Marylanders eat up this sport. I cant understand why. Maybe because Baltimoreans are soft, complain about 40-degree weather in February and cancel collegiate classes for inclement weather when theres a slight less-than-an-inch dusting on the ground. (Side-rant: Im sick of people using the word inclement to describe the weather. Inclement is defined as severe in temper or action and unmerciful. A light snow is not inclement. I dont want to sound like the oldest 22-year-old on the planet, but my alma mater has canceled classes once since the late 1970s. As much as I love having the day off, if teachers cant take driving in flurries, they should just shut down the Baltimore County Public School System as we speak. Hacks.) Obviously, Marylanders couldnt stand bearing the cold temperatures of hockey arenas or the tremendous amount of violence it entails so it would seem nature they would flock to the dumbed-down version of the sport ” lacrosse.
If you have never met a lacrosse fan or attended a lacrosse event, youre missing out. These people are nuts! Of the 378 people who attended the d3 mens lacrosse game, I can guarantee you that at least 70 percent of them brought their own foolish-looking lacrosse sticks. As if the coach is going to need to substitute a 48-year-old postal worker to fill in goal. Or one of the metal balls is going to fly into the grandstands and a stick is the only form of prevention of head injuries to the crowd. In baseball, it is unacceptable for fans no longer eligible for Little League to bring mitts to the game. It helps us distinguish the tools from the real fans. In lacrosse, its welcomed.
Oh, but its not lacrosse, man. If youre in the know, you know its called lax. No, not the L.A. airport. Apparently adding an X to it makes it seem more extreme and less French. Substituting an X still doesnt changing it from being lame.
But the game itself? Terribly boring. Theres all kinds of rules that are nonsensical. Penalty box without a box? Say what. Improper stick violations? Are they putting razor blades on the ends to slice opponents? This is ridiculous. The stats are completely ludicrous. Youd swear these fools would go Alexander Hamilton all over someones ass for more groundballs. They get a stat for picking up a ball. Why dont we give stats for number of successful steps while were at it?
But the womens game is worse. Theres no contact. The stats and the game itself is completely changed. Basically its the Arena Football version of real lacrosse: more scoring, uninterpretable rules, a giant net in the back and funny uniforms. Instead a jump ball or a faceoff, it has something called a draw control. I dont know what that means but it involves putting the ball between two people and flipping it up in the air. Then its like watching raccoons fight over the last piece of three-day-old KFC chicken. I dont know what that means either but, at least, it sounds cool.
Laxers are the most vile of creatures. If you dont play the game, know the game and dream the game, youre nothing, which is reminiscent to Marylands state motto, if I remember correctly. You dont know that Johns Hopkins is unstoppable? You predicted UVA to beat Syracuse? OMFG WHAT A N00b. Listen, lacrosse isnt a real sport. Its a glorified attempt at making field hockey cool. Luckily, N.E.P.A. is too badass to fall for those tricks. Well stick to things that matter. Id rather play hopscotch.
What can I do? Im on my grind. Im going to have so much money, my kids are going to play lacrosse. Lacrosse, blogosphere. Lacrosse.
as an avid lax bro, let me tell you that we epitomize the bro lifestyle. in high school, the lax team smashed more muff than bball, football and baseball combined. lacrosse is elegant, brutal and fast paced and if you cant enjoy it, put your tampon in and quit talking shit
so many haters of lax. i dont play it but i know a lot of kids who do and almost all of them know how to chay
bengaldom, great post man. not only did “some kid” (aka you) have no idea what they’re talking about, they clearly have some form of mental handicap. the fact that you would actually try to use this in defense of your argument is embarrassing and is a testament to how insanely retarded you really are. my guess is that when you’re not posting on this site, you’re stocking the shelves at walmart or trying to pick up local high school girls after school. initially i was surprised that no one responded to u, but most likely it’s because you’ve posted before and everyone knows that you’re a complete joke - i just had to break the silence to make sure you knew from all of us that you are clearly not a bro. just a total douche
bengladom, you need to choke on something. lax is the epitome of bro and chay lifestyle. the fact that you think big words and paragraphed out rants will convince ANYONE on this site that lax is not the ultimate bro sport is idiotic. if you laxed in college, you went to a school where you learned how to fucking read and write with the best of them Ivy, NESCAC, Duke, Etc. Your argument is terrible. You say that you have been “learning” lacrosse for work. if so, you dumbshit retard, you would know that the ball is not metal as you pointed out in your post but rubber. please do everyone a favor and chug some bleach. you are douche.
haha bengladom you fat fuck. Enjoyin slammin chubby chicks for the rest of your life. Thank you for making it clear to us that you obviously know a lot about nothing. Bravo