Love the Accent, Hate the Foster’s: How to Bag an Australian Chick
by Waffles McButter | November 6, 2009 - 7:36am | 17 comments - 41 readsIn my extremely biased and discriminatory opinion, you are going after the best that the rest of the world has to offer. Australian women not only have the sexiest and most tolerable accents but I also find them to be the top tits when it comes to looks as well. If you don't believe me, take a gander at this succulent piece of ass. I imagine that one night of sex with her would be more gratifying than watching the birth of my first child. Australians, in general, are usually more down to earth than other international women. Take women from Russia or others who hail from Eastern Europe as an example. For whatever unknown reason, women from Eastern Europe tend to think way too highly of themselves, they expect men to shower them with lavish things (other than chunky semen), and they are extremely high maintenance. Thankfully, you aren't chasing one of them, so my advice won't have to be laden with scare tactics and violence. What you need to do to get this girl is fairly simple and straight forward. You are into this chick for three obvious reasons: Her looks, her accent, and because she is a down ass bitch with a lot to offer (see: looks and accent). I suggest that you go into this like you would with any run-of-the-mill American broad. Do not to focus on, or bring attention to, her accent when you talk to her. She wants someone who likes her, not a guy with an Australian accent fetish or a guy who has grotesque psoriasis of the face -- I am operating under the assumption that you don't have either. As a man, we love it when a girl is turned on by our accent or thinks we are an Adonis. It feeds the tape worm that is our ego. But for women, they aren't as shallow. And my point is, if you are only in it for the accent, keep that to yourself. Obviously don't dismiss the fact that she is from Australia; ask her about the country and where she's from, see if she's ever fisted herself to a poster of Paul Hogan, and definitely don't forget to talk about how Foster's tastes like piss. She hates it, too, trust me. I have slept with my fair share of international broads and believe me, if you play her like a regular girl and if she wants herself an American boy (and why wouldn't she?), she'll be all yours -- unless she is Emily Scott. Then she's mine. Belligerence is bliss, Waffles P.S. For those bros living in NYC, hit a place called the Sun Burnt Cow, the entire wait staff is from Australia. No fibs.
Instead of pointing out that Fosters tastes like piss why dont you point out the fact they don’t even drink or really sell Fosters in Australia. Maybe go as far to point Fosters is actually made in Canada and sent to the US. So you don’t look like that Jackass that assumes it really is “Australian For Beer”.
Why dont you take a page out of this guy’s book:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=21ImmTL05SM
First and only step… tell her your from Canada! Works like a charm everyone hates the USA over on any other part of the world and if they don’t they are afraid of you or attempting to get their green card. Before you try to ream me out for saying this take a step out of the USA put your flag on your arm and walk somewhere… Its crazy.
^Fuck Canada.
Three fucking cheers to that Brotorious.
fuck you budday
Are you fucking kidding me with that Canada shit? I fly my American flag where ever the fuck i go. You wanna know why? Because I’m from the greatest country on the fucking planet. Anyone wants to say something about it? We’ll fucking bomb them.
amen, fire in the hole
canada, haha thats a good one
Brew S.A., your patriotism brings a fuckin tear to my eye
Less we forget the “American” who wrote this garbage yet again proves the ignorance that we are so well know for. Fosters isn’t Australian it has nothign to do with the Austarlian culture so, how the fuck is that a solid angle to run with the babes? Waffles what happend?
brostons is kinda of right. Foster’s is laughed at over there. He is also correct about waving the flag over there, bro’s should take care of other cultures..and they don’t like usa flag waving. And when they go drinking, they say taking the piss not that a beer tastes like piss. I use to live there so i’d think i’d know.
“Brew. S. A.” Not once did I say fuck the USA… Time for a wake up call, Not only did you prove Im right, I happen to know that most people on this site that post are American. I’m not going to walk out into the fire if I don’t know what I’m talking about man. You wearing that American flag probably brought you that much closer to being mugged and you didn’t even know it. Thank you Downunderbro, I happen to love Australia and Have had the chance to play rugby with a great team from down there.
exelentise…. consider yourself ostracized from the bromunity
exelentise get out of this great country you canadian loving pussy. american would fucking destroy canada. get off this site too, you unpatriotic bitch
Been to Australia 3 times in the last few years. VB (Victorian Bitter) and Tooheys are the common beers i saw everywhere. They are very laid back and everyone is very friendly. The women are hot…alot of very tall blondes. If i had to live any where other than the US i would live there.
Canada - Leading the world at being just north of the USA!!!Canadians blow and can’t drive either!
Thank you Waffles. Keep on chaying.
Oh and I bet Exelentise doesn’t even watch the hotdog eating contest or blow shit up while getting fucked up on Fourth of July. Go back to soviet Russia you communist fuck.