Ruminations’ Writer/Comedian Aaron Karo is ‘Having More Fun Than You’

[inline:more fun]Aaron Karo's third book, "I'm Having More Fun Than You" (itbooks, $13.99, click here to buy on Amazon), details his philosophies, stories, and tips as a 30-year-old single guy still heading to bars and picking up women (or "kicking game") as his contemporaries settle down. According to Karo, a guy needs to be on his own before finding someone. It builds character and gives you the opportunity to learn about yourself. Plus, it's fun to hook up. For guys in a relationship the book doesn't read like an endless taunt. For guys who hit the bars regularly it's a nice little handbook complete with some helpful tips. Karo, a nationally touring stand-up comedian and the proprietor of Ruminations.com, is a straightforward, funny writer. He comes across as a regular guy telling stories and offering counsel without going all Tucker Max on us. The book hits shelves today, and you can find out more at its website. Karo shared his thoughts last Friday afternoon on the dynamics of settling down, the importance of alcohol and cities, and the qualities of a good bedroom playlist. BroBible: One thing I liked about the book was that it was honest and revealing without sharing too much. It's not uncomfortable to read. How aware were you to walk that line between being conversational and tell-all? Aaron Karo: I think, first of all, the reaction probably varies. I'm sure there are some people who think there's too much information in there. What I try to do is kind of be frank and candid and also a little self-deprecating. I think that's why I have a lot of female friends, which is good for me. BB: I'm kind of amazed you have a lot of female friends. I would think most would be kind of turned off by [the tales in the book]. AK: The point is, is that I'm kind of a typical bachelor. I'm just kind of honest about it... I'm actually pretty typical for a single 30-year-old guy. BB: The book is very casual, almost like a friend is talking to you. Was that the kind of tone you were looking for?

AK: I think that just comes from being a stand-up. I think that my style of writing has always been conversational. I've also been writing this column for 12 years, "Ruminations," which goes directly to the readers. I email blast it out to tens and tens of thousands of people. So when I write a column, I almost think about it like I'm communicating one-on-one, so that translates to the written page. BB: So that's in every aspect of your writing from stand-up to books to the column? AK: I think so. That's really what stand-up is -- you're talking directly to the audience. To be honest, at this point, I don't think about it so much. [Laughs] You're making me think, do I do that? BB: If you had to write in three separate personas, that would have to drive you batshit. AK: Well, I'm also a screenwriter, so I do write other characters. Usually I write my actual friends; I just pick a friend and I make them the character. That way they have a rich background and it's easier to do. Writing in the first person comes natural to me. BB: Your friends have been involved in your writing for years. Are they still uneasy about being mentioned? AK: They've always been cool with it, with the exception of Brian, who is the biggest segment in the book, who's my old roommate and my married friend who's just sick of it already. They've always loved it; they've always tried to get in it. Now, my friends have been around for over a decade, so they're kind of, like, blase about it... The only rule I have for the column and the book is that I won't write anything that will get someone fired or divorced or arrested. BB: Have you ever lost friends because of what you've written? AK: No. In fact, maybe I can recall one incident in like the late '90s when someone was kind of annoyed. Besides that, no one's ever been pissed. BB: So we're looking at 10 years back? AK: I'm careful about that because it's not their column, it's my column. Plus, I think they're used to it. The Triplets [fraternal triplet brothers Karo has known since high school] at this point know they can't stop me anyway, so they just roll with it. BB: I love your attitude that guys should take their time and not get pressured into settling down. What I'm curious about is, in your opinion, when's the right time for a guy to settle down? AK: There is no exact age. My point in the book is that if you go right from college into being in a relationship, then you get married after that, and you're never single then how do you actually know what you want if you've never been on your own? ...These guys who get married early, is it nature or is it nurture? Did they get married early because they met someone and the girl locked them down, or did they get married early because that's just who they are? I talk about Brian. A childhood friend, I've known him for 25 years. We went to Ivy League schools. We both graduated, worked on Wall Street, we lived together in a tiny little apartment. If it was nurture, then he'd be single because in that apartment I was just raging. But he met a girl and he got married a year later, so obviously it was in his blood. That was going to happen regardless of what I did. So, for some guys, that's their thing. Listen, he's happy, but I'm just saying, at 28 do you really want to be asking permission to go to Mardi Gras? No. You just want to fucking go. BB: I'm in a serious relationship right now. What I liked about the book is that I didn't feel like I was harangued for that. Your attitude is, if you want to talk to women and let things happen, cool. If you're with someone and you're happy, that's cool too. There's no right or wrong way to do it. AK: Yeah, it's more about people in relationships haranguing me than me haranguing other people. It's the fact that people kind of look down on you if you're single. BB: Are you still getting crap from family and friends about being single? AK: Now that I've made a living out of it, I've kind of removed myself from being made fun about it that much. It's more about the common man. They call you the seventh wheel when you're on your own. Your parents are asking about when you're going to settle down, asking a bunch of questions. That's not true. I do get it. When you go to weddings, and you just feel like an idiot. [You sit] at the singles table, and there's couples there. I'm telling you right now, when I get married, the list of bridesmaids will have their relationship status, like Facebook. BB: You meet a lot of girls in bars. Are there other options? AK: Bars and Facebook. That's pretty much where you meet women these days. BB: So going to Barnes & Noble or the local church are dead ends? AK: If you're a real pick-up artist, and I don't consider myself one, I guess grocery shopping [is an option]. You have to understand, I live in L.A., where you don't see anybody. It's not like New York, where you bump into people on the street. That's kind of one of the downsides of L.A. versus New York is that you're not exposed to as many women. Have I ever just randomly met a girl? I remember once at a deli. But I was drunk at the deli, that's the only reason I ended up talking to her. BB: Can a guy be successful in picking up girls without drinking alcohol? AK: Well, if the girls aren't drinking either. If one of you is drinking and one of you is not, that's not good. Can you meet someone completely sober? Sure. I'm not that good at it; I wouldn't recommend it. Is alcohol necessary? No, but it certainly helps. BB: You were in New York and now you're in L.A. For someone living in the suburbs, what can they do to adjust if the bars aren't as hopping? AK: They can move, that would be my recommendation. I'm from the suburbs [Plainview, NY]; I have no idea where you'd meet someone in my town. I guess you'd probably go to the bar. That's the place to go... It all comes back to where people are gathering; are they drinking or not? What are you going to do, go to the fucking fairgrounds? I don't know what people do. BB: In my experience, bars in the suburbs have been like TGI Friday's and Bennigan's? [Note: I forgot to mention dive bars that make Paddy's in "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" look like the Palms.] AK: When people tell me stuff like that I'm honest: Listen, get the fuck out. BB: The basic tenet of the lifestyle is if you're not in a city, get to one? AK: Yeah, I absolutely agree with that. When I go out on tour and I meet people who are in some out-of-the-way area and they're like, 'Oh, it's boring, there are no chicks.' I'm like, 'Dude, get the fuck out.' You don't have to live in a penthouse in New York City or whatever. There's a lot going on in Chicago and all these places around the country. Especially if you're in your twenties, you don't to waste it in some Podunk town. BB: You list a nice sampling of albums you play when you're getting it on with a girl. For a guy putting together such a playlist what are some qualities that he should be looking for? AK: One issue is you don't want songs that are too catchy, because then she starts paying attention to the song. You also don't want anything with any misogynistic undertones; that could be bad as well. I think it depends who the girl is and what you're doing. John Legend -- I also like him because he's a fellow UPenn grad -- he's kind of good because he's got a good beat but still kind of sexy. Whenever I'm listening to that when I'm hooking up, I'm thinking, what is John Legend doing right now? He's definitely having sex with someone twice as hot as this chick. BB: I didn't see any women singers on the list. To me, a really good album is Rachael Yamagata's "Happenstance." That's a better closer than Mariano Rivera. AK: I don't know if I've heard her, but I have to check it out... The female musician when you're hooking up? I don't know, I guess I've never really tried that. BB: For the guy who's learning to get it together and be his own guy, how do they start "kicking game?" AK: The first thing you got to do is find a good spot. It's always good to have a go-to bar, a place you know you can get in. Maybe you know the door guy, or just know when a good time to go is. A lot of my friends have go-to spots that they go to last if things don't pan out. It's good to have a good wingman, obviously. You want to have a good rapport with them. It's either going to be someone that initiates the conversation, the lead blocker they go right in there, and then I swoop in. Then, you have some guys where I'm the wingman. I have a really good-looking friend who doesn't talk much, and then I start the conversation and he comes in. It's good to know what you drink and how much of it to drink because you want to get a nice buzz going, but you don't want to be slobbering over [girls]. You have to budget a little bit, because girls always like when you buy them drinks. It makes them more pliable. You don't want to bankrupt yourself buying shots for everyone in the bar. It also helps to know what your target audience is. I say in my act, if a really hot girl tells me she has a boyfriend I'm actually relieved, because then I'm not going to attempt to make a fool out of myself. You've got to know your limits. BB: What's your stance on the pivot or female wingman? AK: I've never really used a female wingman before just because my female friends probably wouldn't venture where I go. Occasionally, if there's a chick at the bar who I'm friendly with or I meet up with who has a boyfriend, she'll help. Girls always like to get confirmation from other girls, so that helps. But I don't have a go-to female wingman. BB: Do you feel like you've gotten into your groove in L.A.? Are the skills transferable from the East? AK: A little bit. I mean, there's a very different scene in L.A. that you can't walk to the bars, there are a lot less of them, they're harder to get into, they close earlier. So, the main difference is you've got to go out earlier and close sooner. But when I moved to L.A. it corresponded with me getting a little bit older. There's a little bit less of that running around and more trying to take girls out and what have you. BB: Have you gone out on a date recently? AK: I have a date tonight as a matter of fact. I'm trying to turn over a new leaf now that the book is coming out. BB: How did this happen, because in the book you're very much on the anti-dating/don't understand it side? AK: I think it's probably more of an L.A. thing. L.A. is not as much of a hook-up scene as New York is. So, if you want to find someone really good you've got to take them out. I have been out on dates and I've had girlfriends, so it's not completely out of the ordinary. The other thing, it's all material. Who knows? I go out with her and if it doesn't work out then I'll have something new to write about. Please sign up or log in to enter for this contest!