"Karate Kid" (June 22, 1984)
The story of Daniel LaRusso's quest to become good at karate in order to stop Johnny Lawrence and the Cobra Kai dojo from bullying him, "Karate Kid" is the ultimate underdog story. Add Pat Morita's Mr. Miyagi trying to train and mentor Daniel, and you've got one of the best guy films not only from 1984, but from the past 25 years. "Karate Kid" spawned four sequels and was voted one of AFI's top 100 most inspirational films. The images of the Cobra Kai dojo telling his student to the "sweep the leg" and Daniel assuming the crane kick position in the final scenes are unforgettable for a generation of kids who finally got the courage to try to kick their older brothers' ass.
Guy Staying Power:
"Karate Kid" shows a guy where hard work can get you. The film also shows us that those bromances can cross generational lines, as Daniel-san learns all about Mr. Miyagi's life and his family's imprisonment in an interment camp. Eventually, Miyagi becomes Daniel's trusted mentor and friend: "Daniel: You're the best friend I've ever had. Miyagi: You... pretty okay, too." Mr. Miyagi also teaches guys about how a proper man should live his life in all circumstances: "Lesson not just karate only. Lesson for whole life. Whole life have a balance." Added bonus: a very young, very cute Elizabeth Shue.
The Lines You Still Quote:
Kreese: Sweep the leg. [Johnny stares at him in shock.] Do you have a problem with that?
Johnny Lawrence: No, Sensei.
Kreese: No mercy.
[Miyagi karate-chops the tops off three beer bottles]
Daniel: How did you do that? How did you do that?
Miyagi: Don't know. First time.
Miyagi: Wax on... wax off. Wax on... wax off.
"The Terminator" (October 26, 1984)
Before Arnold was "the Governator," he was "the Terminator." The film cost only $6.5 million to make (not bad for an action movie starring Arnold Schwartzenegger), and grossed over $78 million worldwide. It spawned three sequels, including this year's "Terminator Salvation," and led to video games and a television series. The movie is the only movie on the list selected for preservation in the U.S. National Film Registry... so far. Let's not forget that it catapulted one of the best bro-loved action stars, Ahh-nold, to stardom and caused millions of Americans from teens to grand-pas to break into Austrian accents, grunting, "I'll be back!" No girlie men here; "The Terminator" is the real deal.
Guy Staying Power:
Even with all the innovations in CGI and special effects over the past 25 years, "The Terminator" still holds its own. The film takes place in 1984 and tells the story of a cyborg assassin, the Terminator, sent back from the year 2029 by a race of artificially intelligent machines bent on killing off the human race and dominating the world. The Terminator is specifically sent on a mission to kill Sarah Connors, whose future son, John, will lead a resistance against the machines. John also sends someone back to 1984, Kyle Reese, to protect his mother. The ultimate story of revenge, protection, war, and love, "The Terminator" is a sort of futuristic "Ten Commandments," surely a story that had been told before, but never using science fiction and artificial intelligence. Hmm, 2029... that only gives us 20 years before the machines take over.
The Lines You Still Quote:
Title card: The machines rose from the ashes of the nuclear fire. Their war to exterminate mankind had raged for decades, but the final battle would not be fought in the future. It would be fought here, in our present. Tonight...
The Terminator: "I'll be back."
Sarah Connor: You're terminated, fucker.
Kyle Reese: Come with me if you want to live.
"Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom" (May 23, 1984)
The second film in the Indiana Jones franchise actually serves as a prequel to the original, "Raiders of the Lost Ark." It is one of those rare movies where the sequel was as good as the original (editor's note: that's debatable) and eventually led to two more films. Arriving in India with his nightclub-singing paramour, Willie, and his 10-year-old Chinese cousin, Short Round, in tow, Indiana Jones is asked by a desperate village to find a mystical stone. Indiana agrees, stumbling upon a Kali Thuggee religious cult employing child slavery, black magic, and ritual human sacrifice. He is put in a trance at the cult's palace. Eventually, after being burnt by Willie, he escapes from the trance, only to remain trapped and cornered by the leader of the cult on a shaky bridge. In one of the movie's most famous scenes, Indiana eventually escapes by cutting the bridge, as the cult leader falls to the crocodiles below. Cue John Williams.
Guy Staying Power:
Back in 1984, Indiana Jones brought the far reaches of the globe to bros all over the United States and gave us all a thirst for exotic travel and adventure. Whereas "The Terminator" took us to the edge of the future, Indiana Jones took us to the past. The movie is about an ordinary guy doing extraordinary things: an archeologist who combats some very evil people is some very cool places. Throw in a sultry Kate Capshaw kicking butt as the female lead and now we know why Steven Spielberg is one of the luckiest guys in the world.
The Lines You Still Quote:
Short Round: I keep telling you, you listen to me more, you live longer!
[Indy signals his intention to cut the rope bridge]
Willie: Oh my God. Oh my God, is he nuts?
Short Round: He no nuts, he's crazy!
Eel Eater: Ah, dessert! Chilled monkey brains.
Short Round: Indy! Cover your heart! Cover your heart!
"Bachelor Party" (June 29, 1984)
Maybe significantly less well known and received that the others on this list, "Bachelor Party," an early breakout film for Tom Hanks, made $38 million from movie revenues and over $19 million from rentals. Not bad for a movie that only cost $6 million to make. The movie is a forerunner to "Van Wilder" and the "American Pie" movies, earning it a place on our list.
Guy Staying Power:
"The Hangover" shows you just how ahead of its time "The Bachelor Party" was and how universal of a story it featured: Man decides to settle down; man's friends throws him best bachelor party possible with booze, hookers, and a fancy hotel room; untrusting fiance decides to catch man in act of cheating. Throw in a donkey dying from a drug overdose and you have one hilarious movie.
The Lines You Still Quote:
Cole: The car has low mileage and handles like a dream.
Rick: Well, so does Debbie.
Rudy: Let's have a bachelor party with chicks and guns and fire trucks and hookers and drugs and booze!
Gary: Yeah! Yeah yeah! All the things that make life worth living for!
Jay: Gentlemen... start your boners.
Rudy: [toasting] To girls with big tits!
"Beverly Hills Cop" (July 20)
"He's been chased, thrown through a window, and arrested. Eddie Murphy is a Detroit cop on vacation in Beverly Hills." That was the tagline for the top grossing film of 1984. It worked.
Guy Staying Power:
Aside being the film that shot Eddie Murphy to international stardom ("SNL" and "48 Hours" hadn't quite nabbed him world-wide fame yet), "BHC" -- along with "Policy Academy" -- kick-started the genre of the police comedy. Eddie Murphy plays Axel Foley, a Detroit cop who goes to Beverly Hills who works with his Beverly Hills detectives Taggert and Rosewood to solve the murder of Foley's childhood friend and former criminal cohort, Mikey Tandino. Throw in the great strip club arrest scene and more classic, "foul-mouthed" lines than perhaps any other movie of this era, and you've got the ultimate 1984 guy movie.
The Lines You Still Quote:
Sergeant Taggart: We have six witnesses that say you broke in and started tearing up the place, then jumped out the window!
Axel Foley: And you guys believe that? What the fuck are you, cops or doormen?
Sergeant Taggart: We're more likely to believe an important local businessman than a foul-mouthed jerk from out of town.
Axel Foley: Foul-mouthed?
[Taggart nods]
Axel Foley: Fuck you, man.
Axel Foley: Disturbing the peace? I got thrown out of a window! What's the fuckin' charge for getting pushed out of a moving car, huh? Jaywalking?
Police Chief Hubbard: What's this man doing here?
Axel Foley: Bleeding, sir.
Axel Foley: Don't you think I realize what's going on here, miss? Who do you think I am, huh? Don't you think I know that if I was some hotshot from out of town that pulled inside here and you guys made a reservation mistake, I'd be the first one to get a room and I'd be upstairs relaxing right now. But I'm not some hotshot from out of town, I'm a small reporter from "Rolling Stone" magazine that's in town to do an exclusive interview with Michael Jackson that's gonna be picked up by every major magazine in the country. I was gonna call the article "Michael Jackson Is Sitting On Top of the World," but now I think I might as well just call it "Michael Jackson Can Sit On Top of the World Just As Long As He Doesn't Sit in the Beverly Palm Hotel 'Cause There's No Niggers Allowed in There!"
Axel Foley: Tell Victor that Ramon -- the fella he met about a week ago? -- tell him that Ramon went to the clinic today, and I found out that I have, um, herpes simplex 10, and I think Victor should go check himself out with his physician to make sure everything is fine before things start falling off on the man.
Axel Foley: You're not gonna fall for the banana in the tailpipe? It should be more natural, brother. It should flow out, like this: "Look, man, I ain't fallin' for no banana in my tailpipe!" See, that's more natural for us. You been hanging out with this dude too long.
Serge: I see you look at this piece.
Axel Foley: Yeah. I was wondering how much something like this went for.
Serge: One hundred and thirty thousand dollar.
Axel Foley: Get the fuck out of here!
Serge: [laughing] No, I cannot! It's serious! Because it's very important piece.
Axel Foley: Have you ever sold one of these?
Serge: [proudly] Sell it yesterday to a collector.
Axel Foley: Get the fuck out of here!
Serge: No! I'm serious! I sell it myself!
Serge: Donny, run and tell Miss Summers that, uh, Mister Achmed Foley is here to see her...
Axel Foley: No, *Axel* Foley. Axel.
Serge: Achnell...? Achwell...
Axel Foley: *Axel*.
Serge: ...Foley is here to see her, he's an old acquaintance.
"Revenge of the Nerds" (March 23)
"Revenge of the Nerds" raked in over $40 million dollars at the box office and led to three sequels. The movie showcased a young John Goldman and Anthony Edwards, among lots of character actors in the ultimate movie teaching us that brains can sometimes triumph over brawn.
Guy Staying Power:
"Revenge of the Nerds" shows us that every guy has their inner nerd waiting to break free and every nerd is just a Bro with funny looking glasses. Perhaps Booger best shows us that with his "Gimme head till I'm dead" T-shirt. "Revenge of the Nerds" tells the story of Gilbert and Lewis, who try to take back their way of life at Adams College from the Alpha Betas, a fraternity of douchebags that burn down Gilbert and Lewis's freshman dorm. Havoc ensues as the nerds and d-bags battle each other. Like "Karate Kid," this is another story where the underdog comes out on top and brings every guy, whether part of the popular crew or not, back to their college days.
The Lines You Still Quote:
Lewis: Jocks only think about sports, nerds only think about sex.
Booger: Big deal! Did you get in her pants?
Gilbert: She's not that kind of girl, Booger.
Booger: Why? Does she have a penis?
Stan [Jock]: What are you looking at, nerd?
Booger: I thought I was looking at my mother's old douche-bag, but that's in Ohio.
"Police Academy" (November 9)
The new police recruits. Call them slobs. Call them jerks. Call them gross. Just don't call them when you're in trouble. "Police Academy" grossed over $80 million dollars, and led to umpteen sequels, and it still wasn't the most popular police comedy of the year 1984. That said, "Police Academy" held its own and made for a comedic 90-minute romp encompassing some of the biggest misfits ever to bare a badge.
Guy Staying Power:
Whereas other movies on this list show what happens when the underdog wins, this movie shows what happens when the misfits win. "Police Academy" tells the story of a city's newest police cadets after the mayor announces a new policy that all recruits must be accepted to the police force. Hilarity ensues as Mahoney, a repeat offender who is forced to decide between jail and the academy, and others join the force. In the classic case of, "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em," the established police officers eventually need the cadets to rescue them when they are held hostage when a riot erupts downtown. Throw in a young Kim Catrall and you have a guy movie for the ages.
The Lines You Still Quote:
Lt. Harris: You make me sick.
Mahoney: Thank you, sir. I make everybody sick.
Lt. Harris: All right, you scumballs. You have a 30 minutes to hit the showers and get to class. Let's go! Move it! Move it! Move it! Pick it up! Pick it up! Pick it up, assholes!
"A Nightmare on Elm Street" (February 17)
One of the scariest movies of all time, "A Nightmare on Elm Street," directed by horror master Wes Craven, blurs the lines between dreams and reality. "A Nightmare on Elm Street" led to seven sequels, none as scary as the original.
Guy Staying Power:
How can the movie that introduced guys to Freddy Krueger not make the list of best guy movies from 25 years ago? Even if you don't like the gore, blood, and chasing, nothing's more romantic than saving your girl from the "beast about to strike." (R.I.P. Michael.) That is, of course, if you can hack it yourself. "A Nightmare on Elm Street" didn't start the genre, but it did perfect it by bringing nightmares to life in everyday Middle America, on a street just like yours.
The Lines You Still Quote:
Nancy: Whatever you do, don't fall asleep.
Tina Gray: Please, God...
Freddy Krueger: [Shows off his glove] This... is God.
Freddy Krueger: I'm your boyfriend now, Nancy.
Children: One, two, Freddy's coming for you. / Three, four, better lock your door. / Five, six, grab your crucifix. / Seven, eight, better stay awake. / Nine, ten, never sleep again.
Rod Lane: I had a hard-on this morning when I woke up, Tina... Had your name written all over it.
Tina Gray: There's four letters in my name, Rod. How can there be enough room on your joint for four letters?
[laughter]
Rod Lane: Hey, up yours with a twirling lawnmower!
Ambulance crew member: We don't need a stretcher in there. We need a mop!
"Footloose"
"Footloose" was a breakout vehicle for Kevin Bacon and the title song made everyone want to just dance way before Lady Gaga arrived on the scene.
Guy Staying Power:
Bacon's Ren McCormack might not be on par with John Wayne, but he's definitely a rabble-rousing leading man. Ren, a Chicago native, moves to a small town, where the local government has banned dancing and rock music, largely because Rev. Shaw Moon blames rock music's influences on the death of his first son. Ren breaks all the rules in town as he and his friends try to force the town to allow them to have a real senior prom with dancing and music.
The Lines You Still Quote:
Chuck: I thought only pansies wore neckties.
Ren: See that? I thought only assholes used the word "pansy."
Ariel: Do you wanna kiss me?
Ren: Someday.
Ariel: [Gets in Ren's car] What's this "someday" shit?
Ren: Well, it's just I get the feeling you've been kissed a lot, and I'm afraid I'd suffer by comparison.
Ren: Hey, hey! What's this I see? I thought this was a party. LET'S DANCE!
"Honorable Mention"
It was hard to choose the Top Ten, so here are a few other notable 1984 films just missed the cut:
- Best Picture winner
"Amadeus," which taught us about guy rivalry when you're at the top of your game
- Best Picture nominee and BAFTA best film winner
"The Killing Fields," telling the story of a journalist who returns to Cambodia's killing fields to look for his friend
-
"The Muppets Take Manhattan," because aren't the Muppets really mirror images of ourselves? Fozzie and Kermit teach the guys how to survive in New York City.
- And
"Gremlins," just because.