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cleanapartment

Keep Your Mancave Clean, and She’ll Make Plenty of Appearances

by Handsome B. Wonderful | July 14, 2009 - 6:46am | 0 comments - 8 reads
[inline:clean]You've done the legwork -- gotten the number, had a phone conversation that didn't involve "Entourage" or Johan Santana's terrible run support, and taken her out to dinner at a place where the waiters don't wear "flair." With an invitation to your apartment in the bag, nothing can steer you off course in your romantic conquest. That's not quite true. There is one more thing you need to take care of to ensure your social success. It's something very simple that not a lot of guys do, but it will help immeasurably now and for years to come. Clean your apartment. To paraphrase George Costanza, I know less about women than anyone in the world, but I do know they want to feel comfortable. An abode that smells like a high school locker room or features a carpet that's crunchy underfoot isn't conducive to her comfort. It's conducive to a woman making a quick, poorly excused dash from your hovel, swearing never to return.

Please don't use the age-old excuse of guys being slobs. That's bullshit. Do you think a woman who is squeamish sitting on your couch is going to share your bed? Also, women (well, the ones not profiled on "Is She Really Going Out With Him?") don't want to be mothers or housekeepers for their prospective mates. They want someone who is steady and responsible. Well, a clean apartment is their tramp stamp, and it's a painless symbol any guy can get. Here's how: Once or twice a month, do a full scale cleaning of your place--dust, vacuum, mop, the whole shebang. (This should take an hour or two, tops, unless you live in Wayne Manor.) The period in between is maintenance -- cleaning up spills in the kitchen, hair in the bathroom, picking up clothes off the floor. Before the lovely young thing makes her way to your pad, clean the bathroom (toilet, sink, and floors) and the kitchen (stove, counter top, and floor). Those are the hot zones that women pay particular attention to. Don't leave this to chance, guys. Clean the apartment. If not for her, then for you. We all know she won't sleep on filthy sheets in a bedroom that smells like Ben Wallace's hamper. Why would you?

Tags: cleanapartmentthe little things that matterthelittlethingsthatmatter

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