[inline:mail]We love when Bros send in forwarded email chains that are funny, embarrassing, disgusting, or just plain off-the-wall ridiculous (got one of your own? send it in via the TIP OFF THE EDITORS button). This one is a classic, even though some of our fellow fratastic Bros are going to feel the brunt of it at the end of the day. A warning to all you college kids out there: if you're going to send emails about your July 4th weekend to all your "Pledgefucks," it's probably best not to CC the entire University's administration, including the President. We've censored all the emails and names to protect the innocent and the truly fucked.
The Original Email:
From: XXXX XXXXX [mailto:xxx.xxxx@xmail.com]
Sent: Monday, July 06, 2009 4:06 PM
To: (We censored the long, long list of email address for obvious reasons but besides the entire fraternity also CCd was the entire school's administration listserv)
Cc: Entire Fraternity
Subject: I'm so much more bro than you are
Hey Pledgefucks,
Can somebody give me an hour-by-hour timeline of exactly what happened at THE XXXXXX FEST or maybe you were somewhere else noteworthy? Unfortunately I did not attend as the thought of a drive from XXXX to XXXX on Sunday of 4th of July weekend gives me nightmares.
You probably got a phone-call from me at some point on Fraturday if you were worthy and live on the east coast since I was probably trying to invite myself, XXXX, and XXXX to whatever you were doing. Yeah we had an epic fratventure. It ended at the XXXXX, obviously. You probably nicely tried to sidestep my blatant self invitation. Exhibit A: XXXX lied and said he was in Florida. I don't really see the harm in inviting myself places, the way I see it: why wouldn't you want to hang out with me?
Unless you are XXX XXXX, who was nice enough to invite the 3 of us to a high school friend shindig in DC and even nicer to introduce me to his hot friends. For some reason, there was nothing he could do about my awkward game. However, he was not nice enough to stay with me late night, ditching me in attempts to hook up with XXXX XXXX (can you blame him?) XXXX also texted my ex-girlfriend, who inexplicably responded to his texts and not mine.
In any event, XXXXXX received 2 thumbs up. XXXXX and XXXXX were gracious hosts. XXXXX is an asshole for leaving without saying goodbye. XXXXX slayed XXXX on XXXX's bed. XXXXX's friend thinks I'm a Steve. Thank god I'm not a Larry.
I'm probably having a much more exciting summer than you are, but I'm tired of spilling my guts out.
The Follow-Up Email From One Administrator to Another:
From: XXXX, XXXXX (the University's Director of Operations & Maintenance)
Sent: Monday, July 06, 2009 4:17 PM
To: XXXX, XXXXX (the Director of Greek Life)
Subject: FW: I'm so much more bro than you are
Hey! Should I write this guy back and let him know I'm not one of his "pledgefucks"??
XXXX XXXX
Director, Operations & Maintenance
University of XXXXXXXXX
(The next email is the best. You must click to the jump.)
The Director of Greek Life's Email to the Fraternity Members Who Sent the Original Email:
From: XXXX, XXXXX [the Director of Greek Life]
Date: Mon, Jul 6, 2009 at 5:55 PM
Subject: RE: I'm so much more bro than you are -
To: [Names censored]
And Happy Summer to each of you! I will bet you did not expect to have ME reply to THIS email, did you?
And you wonder why fraternities acquire the reputations they do? I would have thought that the incident that you all had direct involvement this past year would have at least made you think a bit about the character that you represent and call brothers.
Please Note, as I clarify:
"Hey Pledgefucks"... please note your distinguished distribution list!
Dr. XXXXXXX is the President of the University of XXXXXX, NOT one of your "Pledgefucks!"
Dr. XXXXXXX is the Vice President of Student Development and the person who supports and promotes Greek Life on campus, on your behalf...
XXX XXXXXXX is a Senior University Administrator who has gone out of her way to assist you and make your ideas for XXXX XXXXXX become a reality.
XXX XXXXXXX was a sorority President and should be treated with a little more respect -- at least I would hope so?
"Ditching me in attempts to hook up with XXXX XXXXXXX (can you blame him?)" I wonder how XXXX feels knowing how she is being referenced in this email?
"XXXXX slayed XXXXX on XXXXX bed" -- and I thought you all understood respect for women? And XXXX, you are a \`leader' in the Greek system?
One could say, that I should never have received this email -- well, I did and unfortunately, it tells more about the men who call themselves members of your frat than I would like to admit.
Needless to say, this is disrespectful in every sense of the word. This is not the type of men we want to be representing or even calling themselves fraternity men, let alone XXXX XXXXX and University of XXXXXX students - and I am sure XXXX XXXXX fraternity would agree.
Now what would you think is an appropriate response if you were the President, the Vice President, the Senior Administrator, fellow students, or the Director of Greek Life?
This is beyond sad and discouraging,
XXXX XXXXXXX
Director of Greek Life
