The 10 Hottest Child-Molesting Teachers in American History
by Waffles McButter | July 1, 2009 - 9:37am | 0 comments - 57 reads
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3. Christine Spaich, 28
If you stare into her steely gaze long enough, your penis will turn to stone, rendering you frozen for just long enough for her to sexually molest you. And if you try to resist or fight back, she will use those powerful traps of hers (as seen in the photo) to toss you around like a rag doll and ultimately emasculate you.
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4. Debra LaFave, 25
This sultry temptress, who apparently learned her make-up skills from Pablo Picasso, was arrested for having relations with a 14-year-old boy in her classroom. But when you have two capital letters in your last name you tend to set your sights higher then one little boy, so how about two? Yes, LaFave was also accused of having sex with another boy in an SUV. When questioned by police, LaFave claimed that bipolar disorder was responsible for her actions; I can only say I wish each and every attractive woman in the U.S., Canada, and Australia contracted a touch of bipolar.
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5. Pamela Rogers Turner, 27
This former model and beauty-pageant contestant was arrested for allegedly having a three-month sexual relationship with a 13-year-old boy. I think I might be too old for Pam but I'm going to give my 12-year-old cousin her contact information. My envy for the young lad she fucked is disgraceful.
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6. Lisa Robyn Marinelli, 40
Look at the DSL's on this cougar. I bet she could unclog a toilet with those lips. Sure she's 40 and maybe a little retarded looking, but she reminded me of a loose MILF from Jersey, so she makes the list. According to investigators, her victim's father saw his son "holding his pants together and putting them back in place" after getting out of Marinelli's Chrysler 300. Someone should slap this kid's father in the face for being a cock block.
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7. Janelle Batkins, 42
Our second cougar in a row, she is making the list because at 42, she looks pretty damn good. Janelle was a French teacher who was arrested and charged with two counts of third-degree criminal sexual conduct for a relationship with a 17-year-old student. Even though the former "teacher of the year" eventually resigned her position, I'd still like to French kiss her asshole with a touch of Hollandaise sauce.
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8. Angela Comer, 26
Although we cannot see her lower half, her puffy face makes me suspect Ms. Comer is a bit of a lard ass. That's O.K. because she's a cute, sodomizing lard ass who tried to flee the country with her alleged lover -- a 14-year-old male student -- before being tracked down in Mexico where she reportedly planned to marry the boy. Among other things, her charges included two felony counts of third-degree sodomy. My question is how do you sodomize someone in the third-degree? Jam a pencil up their ass instead of a human arm?
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9. Autumn Leathers, 24
Sure there were better looking girls I could have put in the nine slot, but none of them were lugging around a fire bush, so none of them got the nod. Her last name, and the fact that she looks like a bitch suggest that she is in to S&M or some other real kinky shit -- like being stuffed in a burlap sack while you and 10 of your closest friends urinate on her and then for kicks toss a live grenade in to see if she makes it out alive.
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10. Cameo Patch, 29
All this saucy bird was accused of was a little fellatio on a 17 year old. Here's my offer to you, sweetheart: Lets you and I take it a step further and have my dick make a cameo in your patch.
