At BroBible, we like to give all Bros a voice, so when we received the now infamous "top cheese" email, we knew we had to find out what really went down. The BroBible staff was able to track down the "top gun" author/laxer, Jesse Painter, who wanted the opportunity to tell the Brommunity his side of the story.

As a bit of background, last week Painter, a former player at Notre Dame de Namur University in Belmont, Calif., sent an email to the 2008 California state champion Marin Lacrosse Club Dukes requesting a chance to play for the local squad. Here's an excerpt of his original pitch: "You probably don't want any young guns on your team but I am telling you I can probably out sprint any player on your team and can hit top cheese on the run everytime. This is probably not a good way to start off but I have talent and if it wasn't for the recent collapse in the MLL SF dragons squad id probably be playing d mid hanging out with Doug Locker and Joe Romano." (Full text below.)

We hunted Painter down by e-mail and gave him an opportunity to explain and clarify his intentions. Below is his response:

I will reply if you take that mug off of me and show a regular lacrosse picture on the site. heres a suitible one



Anyways heres the story.

I had played against these club teams before in college and smoked them, so really there was no envy to start things off. I was just looking for a suitable team full of guys who might want some younger players. It seemed like maybe they would because I had even seen some highschool players have a game or two with them. It turns out 6 months earlier I had been seriously trying to contact the so called "team managers" on their homepage and by email and I received no response. After a few emails and months later I was at a standstill because no one would give me the time of day. This led me to become a bit fired up and frustrated with these guys so I knew I had to make a statement.

Those who know me, understand that I am a guy who doesn't care about what anyone says or thinks about me. I make jokes, pull pranks and will say anything on my mind, even if it pisses someone off. So here I am sitting at my desk with the fire in my belly I felt before each game itching to get on the field and do some damage on the opposing team. I thought, hey why not throw out some bullshit email to show these Dukes why they should have let me play for them. I didn't know if they would take it serious or just throw it in the spam folder so I was like what the hell. I decided to mess with them a little bit, throw in some rants, toss out some names, & make them think I was the biggest & best shit they ever flushed down the toilet. Which basically worked (on Mr. Matty Fields along with his compadres, the Marin Lax Squad). Thanks Matty, with your help this shit spread faster than the "Leaked Beat Up Rhianna Facial Photo." Before you knew it people were trying to hit me up and figure out if I really thought I was that good or if I'm some loser trying to make a name for myself. The answer is no I am not either of those people, I'm just a guy who loves playing lacrosse because I get to hack peoples shins, throw bows, and chuck a ball at peoples faces standing in front of the net. However, I still do manage to hit top cheese whether you like it or not.

Jesse

So, what do you think Dukes? Give him a tryout?

Painter's Original Email:
Hey my name is Jesse Painter I have been trying to get onto a Mens Lax team for a while now that I recently graduated NDNU last Spring. You probably don't want any young guns on your team but I am telling you I can probably out sprint any player on your team and can hit top cheese on the run everytime. This is probably not a good way to start off but I have talent and if it wasn't for the recent collapse in the MLL SF dragons squad id probably be playing d mid hanging out with Doug Locker and Joe Romano. Anyhow, I know your season is about to start but I would like a chance to play with you guys. I have played you guys before at NDNU and you have some very talented players. As for my stature and skills Im 24 years old 6-3 205 and still in lacrosse shape. I am ambidextrous w/ 92mph lefty and a matching righty. I have great COD and Lax knowledge. I played Midfield frosh and sophomore year and then played attack at X for junior and senior year. I have played with the best as my roommates 2 of them are in the NLL and all I wish is that I can continue to play at a high level. I have played 1 game w/ Olympic club, but truthfully they stink and I don't want to play with those ballhogs. I also recently played w/ USA west in the Japan Friendship games. Anyways, if you don't want to add me to your team that is fine but I would like to play at least some games with your team. I am at a loss here in Cali where there are no leagues or teams and very limited skill. I have been coaching High School lately and have worked with Warrior for 4 years alongside Lorne Smith & Mike Watkins and have also worked numerous camps with Tim Booth and Eric Martin. To wrap it up, I know lacrosse players are cocky sons of bitches who don't give a sh*t about anything but I would really appreciate a response back. Thanks and Good Luck This season"