Give That Girl an Oscar! How to Tell When She’s Faking It

by kammeo | February 24, 2009 - 8:47am | 1 comment - 27 reads

[inline:orgasm] I would never carry a fake purse. I would never wear fake nails. Yet, I have no qualms about faking an orgasm. And apparently, I'm not alone. Over 70 percent of women admit to faking orgasms according to various studies. But it seems, that we're not the only ones acting. According to The Orgasm Survey by economist Hugo Mialon, nearly 24 percent -- one in four men -- also take part in such bedroom theatrics. As far as the ladies, rest assured Bros, it might not be you or your technique that is to blame for our lack of response. (Although this story claims that the wealthier you are, the more orgasms you can give your girl.) Roughly only 25 percent of women can achieve The Big O through intercourse alone. So why does she go through the trouble of reenacting the diner scene from "When Harry Met Sally"? The answer is rather surprising... she likes you. Here's the thing Bros: women will not fake it for just anyone. If we did not care about you, we would not waste the time or energy. If we did not want a repeat performance, we would not stroke your ego and let you think that your maneuvers left us trembling. Because honestly, if I really didn't care about you, I'd say, "This isn't working for me" and draw you a diagram of the female clitoris. But, if I like you, I'll pull out all the stops and create an orgasmic sexcapade that would make Kevin Smith blush. Our motives aside, the question still remains: can you tell? To distinguish the faux from the "fuck yeah," use the following markers as a guideline:

Are her lips red? When women climax, their lips (both sets, but most noticeably her facial ones) turn a little bit redder and slightly swell. Has her breathing and heart race increased? While it's easy to fake moaning and groaning, it's harder to fake physiological symptoms. During orgasm, her breathing should sound faster -- almost slightly erratic -- and her pulse should quicken. Is there an increase in lubrication? You shouldn't have to reach for the KY, her juices should be flowing freely at this point. Does her vagina feel tighter? During orgasm, women experience pelvic muscle spasms and vaginal contractions. Did her nipples harden? Almost all women (around 95 percent) have hard nipples during climax. Can she hold a conversation? If she is truly having an orgasm, aside from the occasional "Ohmygod" or animal-like grunt, she shouldn't be able to say much. If she's talking in complete sentences, chances are she's not coming. Is she smiling? OK, while this reaction isn't guaranteed, most women reactively smile after achieving The Big O. We feel relaxed and satisfied, so really, what's not to smile about? If none of the above signs sound familiar and you think your girl is guilty of faking, don't call her out on it immediately -- unless you never want to sleep with her again. Instead, increase the amount of foreplay or ask her what she prefers between the sheets. And Bros, should one orgasm turn into multiple (ah, the perks of being female), trust me, you'll be the talk amongst all her hot girlfriends.